Can't slow down

I'm having the same dilemma I've had several times since 2009.  Do I keep running my Etsy shop or is it too much?  It's like having an apple pie sitting on my kitchen counter.  It doesn't seem right to throw it away even though it's not what I should be eating.  I love eating apple pie.  But if I eat as much pie as I want, I feel crappy both long-term and short-term.

Ok, maybe not the best analogy as running my business isn't making me physically ill.  But it's stressful.  I can't seem to dial it down.  If the shop is open and I'm taking custom orders, I'm either working on orders, figuring out how to get more sales, or feeling resentful that there are so many similar shops on Etsy and many with more sales than I have.   Is my pricing ok?   Am I offering unique enough products?  Should I invest time and money into selling my work in person at shows?

I'm not a competitive person, but something about having my own shop really brings out the worst in me in that sense.  I obsess about whether my shop is getting enough views and people marking favorites.  I wonder if I should place Google or Facebook ads.  I renew listings to get them to show up at the top of the search, even though they haven't expired yet and it costs me money.

I'm at 70% of the aggressive sales goal I set for myself this month, with several more days to go in the month.  And every time I take a break, I get several past customers asking when I'm reopening, and I hate to turn them down.  When I do reopen, I'm rewarded by the little email pop ups of new sales notifications.  Clearly this shop is satisfying my need for external validation and "gold stars", which is something I'm not terribly proud of.




my product photographs have gotten so much better since 2007!

Don't get me wrong - I love making things.  I love that people think my work is good enough to give to their spouse on their wedding day.  Actually crafting the pieces puts me in a GREAT frame of mind - calm and peaceful.  I've learned a bunch of other skills from running this as a real business - dealing with taxes, product photography, customer service.  I'm thrilled that even with a toddler and a tech career, I can make time to do something artsy and soul-satisfying.

But here's the thing.  When I made my Mondo Beyondo list, I had no goals for my business at all.  And that didn't surprise me.  I've already proven what I set out to do - I wondered if I could ever be successful at selling what I had made.  The answer is yes.  I don't have other "big goals" for it beyond that.

Since T was born, I've taken several breaks from it when it felt like "too much".   But I keep coming back.

I feel guilty about the supplies and money I've invested over the years.  I feel like I should at least "use up" the consumable supplies before I quit.  The other part is feeling like I'm wasting an opportunity.  People work for years trying to build up a freelance career or flexible side business to make some extra money.  I already have that "big idea" and it's clearly working for me.  It seems crazy to give that up.

I know for sure I never want to quit my job and rely on my crafty business income.  That would be the surefire way to kill the fun and skyrocket my stress levels.

But on the other hand, I hear stories of how my pet ID tags ensured lost dogs found their way home.  Or how someone cried when they received the item I made (hopefully not because it was hideous!).  And the woman who watched her husband open the gift I made over Skype because he was serving in the military in Afghanistan. 

Obviously there are tons of people out there who can take my place, and tons of folks who *are* doing this as their sole source of income.  Of course they are going to have the time and inclination to maximize their sales.  I know I have too many other priorities.  But when I'm away from it for too long, I miss it.

I'm just not sure how to keep it in balance and not make it all-consuming.  Thoughts?

Over the hills and far away

I can't believe I'm already halfway through this pregnancy (fingers crossed that Baby X' stays in as long as (s)he is supposed to).  It seemed to go much slower last time, but then again, I didn't have a toddler to wrangle nor did we go on a Big Vacation.

I got my first pregnancy massage yesterday and it was so nice.  Being OLD I feel a lot more sore and rickety than last time.  Which reminds me, I really need to make time for exercise, something I haven't been able to do since even before T was born.  I dislike the idea of it, so it always falls down the priority list.  Not exactly setting a good example, am I?  Sigh.

Next week we find out the sex, if Baby X' cooperates.  Hooray! 

But also, I'm a little stressed, because that means I can go into Full Project Manager mode.  Sorting clothes, picking names, moving the craft room, decorating and setting up the baby's room, which if history repeats itself (s)he won't actually use for another 18 months or so.  But I want to get all that stuff done BEFORE this baby shows up and we realize how much easier it was with just one 2.5 year old.

It's also time for me to sort through my maternity and nursing clothes as some things are getting uncomfortably tight.

It's a happy coincidence that I got pregnant almost EXACTLY at the same time as last time so everything is in the right season, and that also means the baby clothes we have are in the right season too, though if X' is a boy, we've got some shopping to do.  (Add that to the Project Plan!)

But life is good.  T is enjoying her preschool, though has resorted to NOT napping there for the past week or so, which means she is a hot mess by the time she gets home at 4pm.  My solution of putting her to bed before 6pm seems to be working, mostly, except she's also going through some kind of crazy growth spurt where she's waking up in the middle of the night wanting to eat. 

And having TJ at home?  Totally, amazingly, awesome.  We spend lots of time together as a family.  Stuff around the house is getting done.  We have lunch dates together sometimes on my work days. Most importantly, he is happy and content.

So yeah, livin' the dream.

Sally Hansen Salon Effects Nail Polish Strips - Review

I used to get regular biweekly manicures when I had my first real job.  In college, my friend K and I discovered the wonders of the LA nail salon where you could get a manicure for less than $10. 

Prior to that, in high school, I liked to paint my nails all sorts of "weird" colors.  My very chic French teacher was appalled by my "flamingo French" manicure that was opaque baby pink with black tips.  Granted, it was also very messy, because I *suck* at applying my own nail polish.

I feel justified now that OPI and other top respectable cosmetics brands (not just Wet N Wild, y'all) have a rainbow of colors available, and not just the usual pinks and reds.

I don't get regular manicures anymore because there's rarely time for me to go every 2 weeks as needed, and with all the crafty stuff I do, my nails get wrecked pretty quick.

When I saw the Sally Hansen Salon Effects nail polish "stickers" at Target, I was smitten.  They came in *patterns*!  I don't do fake nails so elaborate nail art is not an option for me.  I bought a super cute package of black and white houndstooth and promptly forgot about them.

Today at Target I found a bunch of the Salon Effects patterns on clearance for $4.48 - they're probably discontinued as they were all bright, spring-y colors.  There was a super-cute plaid pattern called Mad for Plaid, so I figured I'd give it a shot (for real this time!)

They're made of real nail polish so they're a bit smelly, but they're also flexible and easy to stick.  They come in a pack of 16, with different sizes so you can match them to your nail width.  The instructions are clear and not that complicated for cosmetically incompetent folks like me.

They came out looking better than I expected, though it took a LONG time to apply them - probably about an hour for me to do all 10 fingers.  I might get faster with practice, but I can get a manicure in 30 minutes or less, so I'm not sure how many times I'll invest in these.  But again, the cute patterns might win me over.

i'm not a hand model, thank goodness.

Tips: 

• Wider is better so if you're between sizes, pick the larger one and use the included pointy stick to peel off the excess once you've applied it (carefully!)

• A manicurist told me once that these last longer if you add some top coat after applying.  Not exactly mess-free or instantly dry, but clear topcoat is easy to deal with and dries pretty fast.

• If you have a multicolored pattern like a plaid and very short nails, you might need to do some creative placement to make sure your nails all look similar.  I have one nail that didn't get any of the hot pink lines from the plaid and it looks a little odd. 

Have you tried these?  What did you think?

Tuesday Lovin': Owl Babies Book

Cloud had a post last week about souvenirs from trips, so I thought I'd write about my favorite purchase on our recent trip to Ireland.  We made a conscious decision not to buy random souvenirs, so all we bought was one Christmas ornament (a miniature watercolor of the pub we liked to go to), a pair of lovely handknit wool socks for me, and a book for Trillian called Owl Babies.

I forgot to pack a selection of books for T to read while we were at the vacation house.  I had a few specifically for the plane rides, but they were activity books rather than stories.  So we headed out to the teeny tiny bookstore in Kenmare.

We spotted Owl Babies right away thanks to its gorgeous illustrations.  I'm usually a fan of more cartoony-style kids books, but the artwork on the cover was really striking and T quickly latched on to it.

We took it home and read it for bedtime that night, and many nights thereafter.  It's such a sweet story - three baby owl siblings wake up to find their mama is gone, and they worry together until her return.  The text is simple and repetitive, perfect for toddlers. 

I worried that it might be too much for my sensitive girl - she cries when book characters get into difficult situations or make scary faces - we still haven't made it through Slide Already! because of the faces.  But the tension is resolved in this book fairly quickly so she's ok with it.

In fact, T had memorized nearly all of it by the time we left Ireland, so I entertained myself by letting her "read" most of it to me - I'd supply the first few words on the page and let her recite the rest.  OMG the cuteness - I should have recorded it.  Now that we're home and there are more books in the rotation, I think she's forgotten a lot of it.

I wasn't sure if there was an Ireland connection here, but it turns out the author Martin Waddell is from Northern Ireland, so it really is a souvenir in the traditional sense!

If you're looking for a baby or toddler gift and don't want to give the old standbys for fear of duplicates, this is a great choice.  Or, if you need a good, mellow bedtime story for your own owl babies, I recommend it as well!

My only regret is that she doesn't let me read it to her as often as I'd like.  She's probably sick of hearing it every night.  Next time I'll remember to pack more books for her!

Happy Mother's Day

I'm a person who likes holidays and celebrations.  I used to be too lazy, but then we had a baby. So now things are more fun if they are a Big Deal. (We did skip Easter, though, since we were in Ireland, I was sick and wasn't sure where to procure dairy-free candy for her.)

Still, we're having a pretty chill Mother's Day.  It's gorgeous outside so we're sitting out on the deck, with T in her inflatable "crab pool", the best $20 we ever spent at Target.  It's starting its third year of use now!

I might be one of the few mamas out there who likes to have a big chunk of "alone time" on Mother's Day.  TJ took T out to a playground this morning and I used the time to do a bunch of house stuff that was bugging me.  I feel much better now :)

Later today we'll drop off T at my parents' place.  I'm not yet sure what our plans are for that time but some of that will be in my craft room.  I'm really looking forward to that.

There are all kinds of stupid "mommy wars" conversations going on in Internet-land as well as print media and they're pissing me off enough that I'm making a conscious effort to disengage and remind myself that my parenting philosophy is essentially MYOB - Mind Your Own Business.

I don't care what other people are doing.  I can't.  Life is too short and this work is hard enough.

And with that, all you mamas out there, have a Happy Mother's Day in whatever manner you'd like to spend it!