Like I was poison in your mouth

I live in a crunchy city on the "Left Coast". Mamas routinely breastfeed in public without covering up. (I high-five them in my mind, because I'm not brave enough.)

BabyM flat-out refused to nurse in public around 5 months old. Life was just WAY TOO INTERESTING to worry about milk and definitely not under cover. Trying to wrangle a wiggly baby and not flash my fellow diners in a restaurant was good times.

So I stopped breastfeeding in public. I had a giant stash of milk stored up for my return to work (which didn't happen) so we had plenty when she *finally* deigned to accept a bottle around 6 months. I had nearly given up hope of anyone else feeding her at that point, so hooray for small victories.

But we kept nursing at home and she became super quick and efficient. She outgrew needing to be nursed to fall asleep and in a stunning turn of events, I can put her down in the crib in the mythical state of "drowsy but awake" and she actually, amazingly, puts herself to sleep.  This was unheard of 2 months ago and the cause of much despair around here.

The only constant with a baby is change.  At almost 10 months, BabyM is apparently ready to do everything at once - in the last 3 weeks she's learned to sit up from lying down, rolls around in both directions, *crawls* and is growing 3 new teeth at the same freakin' time.

The one thing I didn't expect to change - our easy, efficient "nursing relationship" - did.  I'll spare you the details, but it started to hurt a lot.  I was dreading her feedings. This was all new, since this amazing baby showed up on Day 1 knowing exactly what to do. 

My best guess is that her new teeth are affecting her latch, *and* she's growing like crazy and really hungry. When we give her a bottle, she drains 5-6oz in just a few minutes. She wants to eat and get on with her day. She also eats unbelievable quantities of solid food - actual person-sized amounts.

For a couple of weeks I've been pumping and feeding her, but I hate it.  One of the awesome benefits of not working anymore is not having to pump several times a day and feeling the stress of "do I have enough?". 

The freezer stash is dwindling - we have 2 weeks' worth of occasional bottles left.  I know I could spend time and $$$ getting a lactation consultant to diagnose what's going on. Lord knows I've used Dr. Google to self-diagnose as well.  I could drink the tea and take the supplements, which I've done in the past for T.

Or, I could supplement with formula for the next 1.5 months until we can introduce regular soy milk and use this as an opportunity to slowly wean her so I don't quit cold turkey and become Hormone-Crazed Angry Mama.  

It's taken me weeks to come to terms with this, thanks to the propaganda machine. I know logically that formula != "poison" (like some would have you believe) and that whole generations were raised successfully on formulas less nutritionally advanced than what's available now.  Big sister T was essentially prescribed formula by her doctor at 9 months since she was so low on iron and it was better than holding her down to force the nasty iron supplement into her mouth.  

BabyM isn't allergic to anything as far as we can tell so our options are wide open, unlike with T.  BabyM eats *everything*, including carpet lint, so the term "exclusively breastfed" means nothing at this point. 

But that little voice inside my head is telling me I'm being lazy and not trying hard enough to fix the nursing issue.  It's telling me I should breastfeed BabyM *exactly* as long as I did for her big sister, which would mean continuing in some form for 4 more months (ouch!).

It shouldn't be this complicated or guilt-inducing, right?  So today I took the first baby step. I wanted to make sure we had a backup option for M when our freezer stash of breastmilk runs out. I can't pump enough to get her through a day.

I found the "just in case" formula I bought before M was born. It expired in February so I threw it out. I wondered if it was a sign.

Then I realized I had a can of the same brand powdered stuff as well, likely a free "gift" from somewhere. This was a new experience for me - we always used the ready-to-feed for T. I got my chemistry on and made up a bottle very carefully as per the instructions. 

And she drank it down like it was sweet candy juice from heaven. Seriously, I think she drank it faster than any bottle of milk she'd had before. Well, then. I feel good that we have options.

I've given myself a couple more weeks to figure out the nursing stuff and see if there's an obvious, easy solution. I'm disappointed at how much internal angst I'm having over this. I know logically everything will be fine, but there's that nagging doubt when I consider taking a different path than I did last time.

But that's the crux of parenting, isn't it?  You have no idea whether or how any one decision is going to affect THE FUTURE. You just take a breath, pick a path that you think is right, and get moving. Kind of terrifying and kind of awesome all at the same time.

I feel like I should end this post with something uplifting, like "Go forth and conquer."  So, um, yeah!

No More Drama - a 30 Day Challenge

Better things to do with my time
(c), Kristi Lloyd Photography

We humans must be pattern seeking machines, some of us more than others.  This post came about late last night as a convergence of Studio Calico's business decisions, papercrafting industry gossip, The Unpleasantness on my blog last summer, and of all things, Mini-Microsoft.

Given my new life of leisure, and the fact that BabyM is actually starting to nap like a real baby, I have some time on my hands to surf the web.  It's actually a problem for me, because I could be using that precious alone time to craft, nap, or tackle one of the many life improvement projects on My List.

I've found myself sucked in as of late to Teh Drama brewing first on the Studio Calico message boards, and then on the TwoPeas boards about recent business decisions made by SC, their communication to their customers, etc.  Personally I'm not affected by much of it - my crafty hoarding tendencies are being kept in check by our newly reduced income, so I'm just not spending money there like I used to.  I've also made the decision to cancel the last of my kit subscriptions after my term ends this month, as I have enough STUFF to do the next 10 years of Project Life.  But for whatever reason, I've been reading those snarky threads for entertainment.

My other guilty pleasure is this papercrafting industry anonymous gossip blog. People go there to "talk smack" about whatever and whoever they want. Sometimes it's got mean and unnecessary personal attacks, but I do love the discussions about new products and classes, in the "wtf were they thinking?" vein. I will say that I'm proud to have gotten a mention as having the "balls" to sell one of my papercrafting kits for 4x its original price ;)

When he used to post regularly, I read Mini-Microsoft's blog religiously, along with the HUNDREDS of comments.  This was a place where people would vent about working for the "Evil Empire", share info about review scores and compensation, nearly all anonymously.  Quite simply, it was just another form of gossip.

You can probably see where this is going.  Reading all of this is not good for the soul.  99% of the information is negative. I don't doubt people need to vent, but I don't need to take on all of their issues.  I found myself furious with Microsoft over how some random anonymous person was treated.  I got more annoyed with Studio Calico, whose products I love, while reading about others' (genuine) anger at how they had been treated.

Just like when I attended the "Womens' Leadership Training" at work last year, I felt like I was taking on everyone else's sorrow, anger, and problems by hearing about it.  I think that's just how my brain is wired.  I can't let it go, and the more I hear, the more it bugs me.

And then last night, while idly reading my regular blogs, it came to a head. I was just getting ready to comment on a post and read the preceding comments, only to find the same Anonymous Coward (AC) who ranted at me here last year about being judgmental go off on a long rant about how *I* was undermining working women because I am "jealous and unfulfilled" and apparently have trouble getting along with people at work (wtf?).  It's only too bad she didn't link to my blog so I could get the pageviews.

I was pissed and ready to fire off an angry response, but then realized that the (completely uninvolved) blog owner doesn't need to be in the middle of this.  I don't need to spend more brainspace being angry about this ridiculous thing that happened a year ago when I still stand by what I said and think.  Even for those few minutes, I was letting AC "drain my energy", to use one of those fancy parenting terms.

Mulling over it while trying to fall asleep last night (thank you iced tea at 6pm for the gift of insomnia!), I realized this was part of a larger pattern.  I feel like I *need* to read those negative and drama-filled threads for their dubious entertainment value.  I *need* to be "right" and respond back to this person who's not even listening anyway, and just spewing.

I don't NEED.  I'm CHOOSING.  And now I choose no drama.  So for the next 30 days, my birthday month, I'm doing a trial of sorts.  No papercrafting smack blog.  No message board drama threads.  No Facebook arguing about hot-button issues (I've already quit this and just unfriend instead). Thankfully Mini-Microsoft stopped writing, *and* I don't work there anymore.  And no responding to anonymous Internet rants, even if they are directed at me.

Instead, for this month, I'm going to use that time constructively.  To create, to write, to plan our Funnest Summer Ever, to clear out the damn junk drawer for the first time in 8 years.  And if I remember, I'll report back a few times a week on how I'm using my time for good.

Anyone with me?

What the Most Successful People Do on the Weekend: Book Review

You already know I'm a huge fan of Laura Vanderkam's books on time management. I was lucky enough to receive an advance copy of her new e-book, What the Most Successful People Do on the Weekend: A Short Guide to Making the Most of Your Days Off.

It was a short, easy, and useful book, which I read on my smartphone over the course of a few sessions nursing BabyM.  Don't be put off by the title - this isn't about becoming a CEO and aspiring to some crazy life where you sleep in 15 minute chunks to maximize your working time.

It's got an interesting premise - in order to have a relaxing weekend, you have to put some effort into planning things. I would have disagreed with this before kids, but now with an infant and a preschooler, it's imperative that we structure our (weekend) days. (Right now, technically every day is a weekend for us, until  T's preschool starts again.) When we don't, it seems that we waste time and/or get on each others' nerves, and before we know it, we're in the thick of the dinner-bedtime routine and another day has passed without much to show for it.

Vanderkam calls these activities "meaningless somethings" which captures it spot-on - halfheartedly doing laundry or dishes, the endless stream of putting things away and preparing/cleaning up meals, or grabbing some empty Internet time while the baby sleeps or the preschooler is playing by herself.

The book has lots of great suggestions for planning a weekend that's both fun and productive. One thing we do already is planning a few "anchor events" for each weekend. Our family threshold for feeling overscheduled is pretty low, so we typically have 1-2 events planned for a weekend, but others could plan something for all the mornings, afternoons and evenings from Friday night through Sunday night and still have plenty of time to do the other things that *need* to get done.

One tip I really want to try is having dedicated time for planning the week ahead. I used to do this pre-kids but got out of the habit with our new crazy schedule.  I think it would be awesome to do this with TJ, or also with T, just like we did with our Holiday Fun List.

Vanderkam's writing itself is great - clean and efficient, while still making what could be a very dry topic interesting.  She interviews a wide range of people for real-life examples and all are relatable in *some* way.

When I read particularly good fiction, I often highlight quotes that I love. I don't expect to do this with a non-fiction book, so I was totally caught by surprise reading the last chapter.  Rather than giving more concrete tips and suggestions, it focuses on the fact that our weekends are finite, our children are only little once, and how holidays should be filled with memory-making activities.

This part made me tear up a little: "September brings a melancholy sense of time passing, as my oldest child is off to kindergarten, the three-year-old starts preschool, and even the baby turns daily into a little girl who laughs and stumbles toward her first steps. In the photos from last Labor Day she was simply a very round belly. Now we've gotten to know the sweet, toddling child once contained in that roundness."  Sniff.  Lovely.

I wholeheartedly recommend this book, and the price is right at only $3 - less than one Starbucks drink. It's short enough that you can read it before the first weekend in 2013.  Let me know what you think!  Enjoy, and happy weekends to you!

Finding my tribe and writing for me

I've been posting less frequently lately, partly because the third trimester has finally caught up with me (hello 7:30pm bedtime!), but also because I'm still annoyed by what went down in these posts, plus the subsequent huffy anonymous email and snarky call outs on other blogs I (used to) read.

Many of the blogs I read are very similar in outlook.  I thought I had found "my people", so to speak, and added a bunch of blogs to my reader.  I'm not religious, lean towards attachment parenting but am not dogmatic about it, work outside the home in the tech industry and am firmly upper middle class.  It's nice to reach out to people "just like me" via the Internet, and read others' interesting and usually relevant thoughts without getting all agitated about it like I would if I frequented blogs written by people who strongly advocate against vaccination (to choose just one irksome issue).

But, as it turns out, I don't think I chose the right tribe.  I've been reading things with a more critical eye lately, and find that on AskMoxie, my usual go-to parenting resource, some of the comments that espouse views that I agree with are the ones getting vehemently shot down as being "judgmental" which is apparently Really Bad if you choose the specific hot button things to be judgmental about (and are on the "wrong" side). 

When I look at my closest friends in real life, the parameters are a little different from those of the bloggers.  Most of them have taken time off from work or rearranged schedules to stay home with their kids, several homeschool and with the exception of a lone few, none are laser-focused on their career growth.  The ones who work seem to have the same attitude as I do - it's mentally interesting and financially good for the family, but not something that competes as a Top Priority.

My two "Mama Role Models" to whom I reach out for advice are moms who stay home and homeschool (and incidentally, went to college with me too, which likely says something about why we get along so well.  Geeks unite and all that.)  One of them told me that finding a group of like-minded parents was more important than finding parents with kids the exact same age or living in the same place.  I totally get it now.

The Internet is a leisure activity for me, so it makes no sense for me to read things that aggravate me. I blog for leisure too, so I don't want to stress out about writing something someone else considers "not nice".  I'm opinionated and I'm going to write what's on my mind.  If that causes people to unsubscribe, so be it.  I'm not blogging for social change, peace and understanding, or cold hard cash (hah!) so there's no need for me to stifle what I really think for a higher purpose.

I guess that's as close to my blogging manifesto as I'll ever get.  Now I'm off to find my people in that great big world out there.  Feel free to direct them my way.

Finally found the love of a lifetime

sometimes life is all rainbows and rottweilers

On the anonymous parenting question list at work, every couple of months someone posts about "lacking inspiration", "losing their mojo", "complete disinterest" about their work after returning from parental leave. 

It's not surprising, is it?  Especially for first time parents, whose lives have been completely upended by the arrival of a delightful (mostly, right?) baby.  Not to mention the lack of sleep, the fact that your brain is probably still mushy, and the complete hijacking of your brain to worry about how your child is eating/sleeping/developing etc. 

I don't have a solution to this problem besides advising people to go easy on making Big Decisions in that first 6 months back.   For a long time, I was really unsure about returning to work, even part-time.  I loved my schedule and liked my work, but still would have been perfectly happy to stay at home with T 5 days a week.

But now, 2 years after returning from that first maternity leave, I am really happy to be working.  I'm not sure when that happened. 

Part of it was the good fortune to join a team that is full of ridiculously nice people who believe there is more to life than work, while still doing an awesome job at work.  That combination is very hard to find - I've found tons of teams full of workaholics with no outside lives and have also heard of (but thankfully not worked on) teams with people who definitely value their work life balance but are completely useless and unmotivated at work.

As much as I grouse about corporate life, I want to be good at my job.  I want to work with people who are happy to be there, and are doing the right thing for our customers.  Today was one of those days I was all "hell, yeah" about work.

On the face of it, it was an ordinary day and everyone was a little regretful about coming back to work after a glorious long weekend.  But today I picked up a new responsibility that is in line with stuff I've done before, and the sort of project managementy goodness I like doing.  I was busy, and happy about it.  I'm thinking about increasing my hours just a tiny bit.

And I realized I hadn't felt that good more than a handful of days since returning from mat leave 2 years ago.  Of course, this is all moot when I go out on leave later this year, but I'm happy to wallow in the goodness right now. 

The other part of it is that T is getting a lot out of preschool.  Even if I was a SAHM, I'd have enrolled her in co-op or some other part-time preschool by now.  She, like me, loves structure and order.   She tells us enthusiastic (but often incomprehensible) stories of what happened at preschool and is always happy to go there.  So happy that she often has to be reminded to say goodbye to us when we drop her off.

Don't get me wrong.  If the circumstances allowed, I'm sure I could still be perfectly happy as a SAHM.  Especially with all those crafty projects I have on deck and the tons of projects I want to do with T. 

But I am also loving work right now.  Take that, Mommy Wars.

The Submission - Book Review

I finished The Submission by Amy Waldman last night. It took me a couple of weeks to get through it, not because I didn't like it, but because it was emotionally hard to read.  Which probably means it was well-written. 

I can't recommend it in a "you'll love it!" sort of way, but it's the sort of book that I'm glad I read and will stick with me for a long time.

I first saw a review on Sepia Mutiny, the Indian-American blog I used to read occasionally.  It was not a flattering one, so I didn't add the book to my must-read list, given that reading time is scarce these days.

A few weeks ago, I heard the author being interviewed on KUOW, our local public radio station, and found out the book had been chosen for the "Seattle Reads" program, which seems to be some kind of city-wide book club thing.  The interview was interesting and unfortunately I got to work before it ended, but I liked her description of her characters and figured I'd give this book a shot.

I bought it for my Kindle that night and read the first few chapters quickly.  The writing is straightforward and there are a lot of characters.  It's about a (fictitious) contest to design a memorial for 9/11 victims and has several related storylines.

What kept me reading, and what also made it hard for me to read, was the main character, Mohammed Khan, an American architect of Indian ancestry whose "Americanness" is questioned through the entire novel.  As someone with a similar background (albeit not Muslim), it was really hard to read about the racist attitudes towards him, even though this was a work of fiction and of course I'm not unaware of real-life people who think I and people like Mohammed aren't "real Americans".

There were almost too many characters and storylines, and I wanted more depth about some of them, like Khan and Asma Haque.  There were a few characters I just didn't care too much about and they had whole chapters devoted to them.  But altogether it was woven together well though the ending left me sort of... empty.  I just wasn't sure what to do with it.  But I'm a person who likes all the loose ends tied up, and with this story it was never going to happen.

This is the sort of book I wish we had read and discussed in an English lit course - modern subject matter, with interesting themes about the society we live in.  Way better than incomprehensible Faulkner (and I've had to read more than one of his books!) and so-old-I-couldn't-care-less The Scarlet Letter.  Blasphemy, I know.

So if you're looking for something to feed your brain a little, this is a good choice.  Definitely not summer beach reading, though, unless you like to use your brain for that!

Can't slow down

I'm having the same dilemma I've had several times since 2009.  Do I keep running my Etsy shop or is it too much?  It's like having an apple pie sitting on my kitchen counter.  It doesn't seem right to throw it away even though it's not what I should be eating.  I love eating apple pie.  But if I eat as much pie as I want, I feel crappy both long-term and short-term.

Ok, maybe not the best analogy as running my business isn't making me physically ill.  But it's stressful.  I can't seem to dial it down.  If the shop is open and I'm taking custom orders, I'm either working on orders, figuring out how to get more sales, or feeling resentful that there are so many similar shops on Etsy and many with more sales than I have.   Is my pricing ok?   Am I offering unique enough products?  Should I invest time and money into selling my work in person at shows?

I'm not a competitive person, but something about having my own shop really brings out the worst in me in that sense.  I obsess about whether my shop is getting enough views and people marking favorites.  I wonder if I should place Google or Facebook ads.  I renew listings to get them to show up at the top of the search, even though they haven't expired yet and it costs me money.

I'm at 70% of the aggressive sales goal I set for myself this month, with several more days to go in the month.  And every time I take a break, I get several past customers asking when I'm reopening, and I hate to turn them down.  When I do reopen, I'm rewarded by the little email pop ups of new sales notifications.  Clearly this shop is satisfying my need for external validation and "gold stars", which is something I'm not terribly proud of.




my product photographs have gotten so much better since 2007!

Don't get me wrong - I love making things.  I love that people think my work is good enough to give to their spouse on their wedding day.  Actually crafting the pieces puts me in a GREAT frame of mind - calm and peaceful.  I've learned a bunch of other skills from running this as a real business - dealing with taxes, product photography, customer service.  I'm thrilled that even with a toddler and a tech career, I can make time to do something artsy and soul-satisfying.

But here's the thing.  When I made my Mondo Beyondo list, I had no goals for my business at all.  And that didn't surprise me.  I've already proven what I set out to do - I wondered if I could ever be successful at selling what I had made.  The answer is yes.  I don't have other "big goals" for it beyond that.

Since T was born, I've taken several breaks from it when it felt like "too much".   But I keep coming back.

I feel guilty about the supplies and money I've invested over the years.  I feel like I should at least "use up" the consumable supplies before I quit.  The other part is feeling like I'm wasting an opportunity.  People work for years trying to build up a freelance career or flexible side business to make some extra money.  I already have that "big idea" and it's clearly working for me.  It seems crazy to give that up.

I know for sure I never want to quit my job and rely on my crafty business income.  That would be the surefire way to kill the fun and skyrocket my stress levels.

But on the other hand, I hear stories of how my pet ID tags ensured lost dogs found their way home.  Or how someone cried when they received the item I made (hopefully not because it was hideous!).  And the woman who watched her husband open the gift I made over Skype because he was serving in the military in Afghanistan. 

Obviously there are tons of people out there who can take my place, and tons of folks who *are* doing this as their sole source of income.  Of course they are going to have the time and inclination to maximize their sales.  I know I have too many other priorities.  But when I'm away from it for too long, I miss it.

I'm just not sure how to keep it in balance and not make it all-consuming.  Thoughts?

The ironic guest blog post

I've got another guest blog post up at the Women in Tech blog.  Betsy retitled it, controversially, to "Do Women in Tech Deserve Special Treatment?".  It could use a little comment love, so please go on over there and join the discussion.  It's a rewrite of my post here, with some additional info from the insightful comments you guys left me on Facebook and here.

Ironically, Betsy decided to publish that post on the same day I started my 'Learning Circle' training, through our Women's Leadership Council at work.  Heh.  I was wondering if my classmates would think I was some kind of traitor, but no one said anything.

The format of the class is interesting.  It's 2 all-day workshops and monthly 2 hour peer group sessions.  The whole thing lasts 6 months.  It's way more about personal development, though you can address work-related concerns.  The idea is to built a small tight-knit community of women to support each other.  Sort of like informal group therapy.  I was pretty weirded out by it at first, but by the end of the day, I was more relaxed.  I'm an introvert, and not super-comfortable with all the personal sharing a class like this entails (funny, isn't it?) so I knew this would be a stretch for me.

The facilitators are dynamic and likeable.  They had us do a self-assessment of things that are going well, things that are ok, and what needs work in our lives.  Then we had to choose one thing that needed work and really analyze it - why are we in that state, what's keeping us from resolving it, what choices we might make differently to help.   We had to do this in pairs, with a "coach" who was one of the other participants.  Yikes.

In going through the exercise, I found some surprising things lurking in my brain.  My partner had some good insight and offered some help as well.  It was nice to meet new colleagues and learn more about *them*.  On most days I feel like I work with a bunch of robots, because we never talk about anything personal.

 photo by selasasore on Flickr

I can't honestly say I *liked* it yet, though.  It was not uplifting and inspiring like the Mondo Beyondo class.  Right now it feels like I'm wallowing in my biggest issue (not surprisingly, it's weight-related).  And, even worse than that, hearing about things the other participants are struggling with made me feel like a big complainer, because I'm lucky to be in a place where things are going really well for me overall.  I guess the "community" part of it is already working, because the weight of their sorrows is really bringing me down too.

I'm bummed.  I can see it's a great program for building self-awareness and helping us solve some of our pressing issues while building a peer group of women in our division.  But I walked in there at 9am feeling happy, on top of the world, and excited to have been chosen for this program.  I left at 5pm, exhausted and sad, lower than I've felt in ages.  I went home and slept from 6pm to 7:30am.

Of course I'll go back, and hope it gets better as we all get to know each other and start vanquishing our demons.  But for now, I'm a little disappointed.  :(

Crafting without a sense of direction or space

So a lot has happened since I bought those first beads in Ashland.  I took a LOT of local jewelry-making classes.  I'm one of those people who learns best from a class.  I do ok with a book, but I am horrible when it comes to just jumping in and figuring things out on my own without any instructional materials.  I guess all that academic learning I did left a mark.

I specifically have a problem visualizing things in 3-D.  I'm that person who has to turn the map so that it's in the direction I'm traveling.   I have no in-built sense of direction - I typically end up memorizing where I need to go, rather than having some spidey-sense on which way I need to head.

I spent hours trying to figure out how to make neat little wire wrapped loops for beads just using a book and various online sites, and mine were still sort of lopsided and wonky.  After one in-person class, where I could watch the instructor do it, I was wrapping like a pro. 

This same 3-D visualization issue tripped me up when I took a sewing class as well.  I learned the trick to sewing things that look so neat and nice is that you assemble and sew them inside-out then flip it around when it's done.  Well, that just totally messed with my mind.  I just couldn't envision how to put things together that way.  I sewed more than one beginner project backwards!

So some aspects of papercrafting are going to be a challenge for me.  I love to look through idea books and magazines to get ideas on cards to make, especially since I'm so new to this and don't really know where to start.  Most of these books give you a high level list of the materials used and steps, but not specific details on what to do when.  It's definitely much more vague than my old chemistry lab manuals.

So I'll have to carefully deconstruct the steps and figure out where to cut first, the order in which to glue items, and that sort of thing.  But, that's why I'm writing it down, right? 

So a question for all of you - what's YOUR crafty challenge?  Is there some aspect of your personality that gets in the way of your crafty vision?

Hello from a crafty ex-scientist!

The first post is always hard to write.  It seems so momentous, like it should be some grand introduction to this Huge Adventure Ahead.  But that's too hard, so I spend more time puttering around with the template, because it really is easier to change the link color than write that huge first post about what this blog is all about.

Ok, here we are.  You've figured out from the title that this is about papercrafting.  And that I'm probably some kind of science geek.  So now I can go back to fiddling around with the widgets in the footer, right?  No?  Ok, then, I guess I'll keep going.

If I were writing about myself in the third person like they do on book jackets, I can't claim that I've "always been an artist" or even that I did a lot of crafts growing up.  Sure, I took the required art class in elementary school, and made those plasticky woven keychains at summer camp. 

But mostly, I was a nerd.  I focused on academics.  I did science fair projects and plotted my acceptance into the engineering school of my dreams.  I pretty much accepted that I wasn't an artist, and that I didn't have any creative talent, because I figured a person could only really be good at one thing.  So I got my biology and chemistry degrees, became a software consultant, and eventually got my dream job at a large software company in the Seattle area.

Something was missing, though.   My husband insisted that I needed a hobby other than work (and other than bugging him to go out and do stuff all the time, presumably).   I had no idea what that was supposed to be, other than spending even more time at work.  I got a motorcycle, rode for a couple of years, and sold it.  Nope, that wasn't it.

On a weekend trip to Ashland, OR I happened to wander into a bead shop.  And THAT was the beginning of my crafty life.