Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Life's like an hourglass glued to the table

Woo hoo! We got back yesterday from Las Vegas. What a fun trip. I got to spend a lot of time with some friends from waaay back who I don't see very often, most of whom are from the East Coast.

I also spent a lot of time playing Pai Gow Poker. I discovered the joy (if not profitability) of the "Fortune Bonus" side bet, which gets paid if you get a certain kind of hand (straight, flush, etc.).

In my hours at the card tables, I noticed a few "types" of people who I pretty consistently run into in Las Vegas:

1. Clueless Joe Jackson - You just never seem to catch on to the game, and feel the need to broadcast that to the table. (As if stupidity is interesting, or cool.) Since Pai Gow Poker is a game where the dealer can help you, and where players aren't playing against each other, people often show each other their cards. However, the 8th time in a row you ask loudly "is this right" gets a little annoying. Or the clueless giggle and comment of "I'll never understand this without your help". Maybe you should pick an easier game like roulette. Or just give the dealer your money and shut up. We don't need you holding up every hand with your whining and apparently inability to learn.

2. Vegas Vic- You always tell us how long you've been coming to the *insert casino name here*. And how you got comps for the buffet/room. And how you knew *insert random name here*, a dealer who has been with *casino* for x years. And how "back in the day" things were different, and boy have things gone downhill with all the tourists. If you were really a high rolling gambler, would you be playing $5 Pai Gow with the rest of us "losers"??

3. Chatty Cathy - You are the worst. You might be of the Vegas Vic ilk and talk about how you know all about the casino, or this dealer or the time you got 5 aces. You talk the dealer's ear off. You talk your table mates' ears off. All we can do is smile or try to ignore you. But the worst part is, you talk without looking at the cards in your hand. Did you notice all of us have played our hands? And that the dealer can't play hers until you put your damn cards down? Your only redeeming value is when I'm losing, and your yammering slows down the casino taking my money. But wait, you're so annoying that I just get up from the table and leave anyway.

I feel like I'm channeling Suz here.

Better that I write about people I don't know than people I need to deal with again. We had a "neighborhood meeting" today to discuss the guy who wants to develop his property and build 8 new houses on it. 2.5 hours that could have been condensed into about 30 minutes. With no resolution at the end except to have another meeting. 'Nuff said.

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