Look at this photograph

I've been very surprised to find the transition to becoming a stay-at-home parent has been somewhat difficult. I know I'm privileged to be able to choose this life for a few years, and it's what I've wanted since T was born in 2009.  I don't miss the job I left.  

What I do miss is the automatic structure that working outside the home provides - these hours are at work, those hours are at home with kids awake, these hours are mine all mine after the kids have gone to bed.  When working part-time, each of those "buckets" was precious and precariously balanced. I did a decent job at making those hours count, with a lot of hand-wringing in the process, of course.

Now my days are very different. Time has definitely slowed down, which I love. While T is at school or with my parents, I can spend an entire hour in the bed lounging around with BabyM, making her giggle, watching her practice her newfound mad rolling skills, and squeezing her delicious baby fat rolls. I don't feel guilty about lingering chores, checking work email, or doing something more productive like bathing her or clipping her tiny fingernails.  Or T and I can spend over an hour with her new Spirograph toy, and do it again the next day because school's out and we don't need to be anywhere at a certain time.

I have an extremely low tolerance for "busy".  I need a lot of space in my schedule, rather than a packed day of dashing from one activity to the next.

But without *some* structure, things fall apart for me.  I kept some time logs when I was on maternity leave and TJ was also off.  Laura Vanderkam, the author of 168 Hours, one of my favorite EVER time management books (and I have read many - it's a sickness), was kind enough to analyze them and give me some great advice.  On a side note, I met her in person (squee!) a few weeks ago on a fun trip to the zoo. I have taken her advice of making an extremely short to-do list each day and it's been helpful.  

But even with that great advice, I was floundering a bit.  So I created our Summer Schedule, which has been a hit. I'm extremely lucky that both girls nap well, so I have at least 1.5 hours mid-day all to myself.  And the Internet sucked up every last minute, making me feel like I wasted a precious resource.

On a whim, I signed up for the Big Picture Classes (BPC) Phone Photography course online.  For once, they included Android phone owners in the description with specific content just for us, and that's what sold me.  (Every other class I've heard about is iPhone-centric.)  

I have a history of signing up for online classes and not following through.  I love having the materials and reading through them at my own pace, but this means I miss out on the "community" created during the class.

 

So on July 1 I read the first assignment and played along.  At first I rolled my eyes about taking a photo of my feet (I mean, really?!) but then I realized that the prompts had a lot of flexibility and room for creative interpretation. The point is not to just complete the assignment and check it off, but to really THINK about how I can do it creatively and make an image I'd want to include in our Project Life album.

Assignment 1 - Where I Stand

Part of the class is a "photo scavenger hunt" with a list of 7-8 open-ended prompts.  I've been working on those as well as the daily assignments and having a great time with it. I've loved seeing how the other students around the world are interpreting the same instructions.  I'm learning more about how to use Instagram and related tools, plus several new camera and photo editing apps for my Android phone: PhotoGrid, Pixlr Express, and Vignette.

And I'm fired up. I can't wait for new assignments to be posted.  I'm looking out for opportunities to cross off more scavenger hunt items.  I want to spend some time with the documentation for my camera app, which I paid $5 for 6 months ago and never learned how to use properly.  I've rediscovered how freakin' awesome my Galaxy Nexus phone camera really is.

And what I've realized is that I need to be learning new things.  Just crossing tasks off a to-do list isn't enough for me.  One of the valuable things I got from work, and didn't realize until now, was the constant learning curve of new challenges.  The culture of my old workplace was that you never got to "just do your job well" - you always had to take on new work and "do more with less". I used to grumble about it, but it turns out that I *need* that sort of challenge to stay engaged.

Don't get me wrong - I am learning new things about parenting and my kids each day, but that is a very different process for me (and often an exercise in frustration as we all learn how to grow together!) - it's all that squishy interpersonal stuff I've never been very good at.

So this Phone Photography class is exactly what I need right now. I'm thrilled to have a place to channel this energy and regain what I lost after not being at work for so long!  This is making me really, really happy right now.

If you want to follow along with me as I take this class, I'm anandirc on Instagram and will be posting my class photos with the hashtag #BPCphonephotographyproject.

Project Life 2013: They Made Me Do It

I'm taking a class at our local craft store, and each month they give us a sample of a new papercrafting line.  We need to make a project with it and bring it to the next class to get the next kit.  I'm a sucker for new craft supplies, so it's the perfect arrangement to get me to actually *use* them.

In January we got a few papers and a sheet of stickers from the lovely Valentine-themed My Minds Eye Lost & Found 3 "Ruby" collection. It's very girly, and a bit vintage-y which is *so* not my style.  But I love the colors, especially the deep orangey-pink, red, and charcoal together.  And the red glittery flowers won me over, as I'm not usually a floral paper kind of girl.

Click photos to see the larger versions.

Jan 28-Feb 10: Cupcakes for breakfast, baby faces

Jan 28-Feb 10: Walking to school, art projects, Science Center, the Symphony

Closeup of week summary title card

Flip up Valentine card insert  - gotta love washi tape

Since I already had the paper and stickers chosen, it was pretty easy to put this together.  I found a pack of these amazing sticky enamel dots in my stash (I'm a bit of a hoarder) that matched perfectly.  I also used the cute Freckled Fawn red woodgrain heart washi tape and a few wood veneer geotags and arrows from recent Studio Calico kits.

I sort all my embellishments by color in little drawers (yes, really) so I pulled out a few older things to use so that it didn't look super matchy-matchy. There's a tiny pink metal "sweet" tag from Making Memories that I've been hoarding for years, as well as a recent clearance rack find, the red pearl flourishy thing.  

It made me inordinately happy to use the journal card in the last photo - it's been in my stash for ages, and I've tried to use it several times until I realize the teeny tiny writing on the heart includes the words "Valentine's Day".  So I can't use it on any old layout, because it'll drive me crazy. I was thrilled to have a legitimate reason.

The Valentines T made have her glittery artwork on one side, and her name on the other.  Can you believe she wrote out 16 of those herself, and on 9 of them wrote her classmates' names on the envelope as well??  She amazes me with her new skills.

I wanted to show off both sides, so I taped the card to the outside of the page protector with washi tape and it flips up. After I took the photo, I realized I want to protect it a little more, so I found these really cool Flip Pockets in my stash and cut one up to add the Valentine, so now it's enclosed in its own tiny page protector which is stuck to the rest of the page.  I'll definitely use more of these for her little bits of two-sided artwork or extra photos!

These last few weeks have been busy and exciting for us. TJ is starting a new job next week so he's been preparing for that.  My maternity leave is coming to an end so we're trying to squeeze in some last minute fun things during the week while we're all still together.

And just like that, I'm back to being "caught up" on Project Life!

The ironic guest blog post

I've got another guest blog post up at the Women in Tech blog.  Betsy retitled it, controversially, to "Do Women in Tech Deserve Special Treatment?".  It could use a little comment love, so please go on over there and join the discussion.  It's a rewrite of my post here, with some additional info from the insightful comments you guys left me on Facebook and here.

Ironically, Betsy decided to publish that post on the same day I started my 'Learning Circle' training, through our Women's Leadership Council at work.  Heh.  I was wondering if my classmates would think I was some kind of traitor, but no one said anything.

The format of the class is interesting.  It's 2 all-day workshops and monthly 2 hour peer group sessions.  The whole thing lasts 6 months.  It's way more about personal development, though you can address work-related concerns.  The idea is to built a small tight-knit community of women to support each other.  Sort of like informal group therapy.  I was pretty weirded out by it at first, but by the end of the day, I was more relaxed.  I'm an introvert, and not super-comfortable with all the personal sharing a class like this entails (funny, isn't it?) so I knew this would be a stretch for me.

The facilitators are dynamic and likeable.  They had us do a self-assessment of things that are going well, things that are ok, and what needs work in our lives.  Then we had to choose one thing that needed work and really analyze it - why are we in that state, what's keeping us from resolving it, what choices we might make differently to help.   We had to do this in pairs, with a "coach" who was one of the other participants.  Yikes.

In going through the exercise, I found some surprising things lurking in my brain.  My partner had some good insight and offered some help as well.  It was nice to meet new colleagues and learn more about *them*.  On most days I feel like I work with a bunch of robots, because we never talk about anything personal.

 photo by selasasore on Flickr

I can't honestly say I *liked* it yet, though.  It was not uplifting and inspiring like the Mondo Beyondo class.  Right now it feels like I'm wallowing in my biggest issue (not surprisingly, it's weight-related).  And, even worse than that, hearing about things the other participants are struggling with made me feel like a big complainer, because I'm lucky to be in a place where things are going really well for me overall.  I guess the "community" part of it is already working, because the weight of their sorrows is really bringing me down too.

I'm bummed.  I can see it's a great program for building self-awareness and helping us solve some of our pressing issues while building a peer group of women in our division.  But I walked in there at 9am feeling happy, on top of the world, and excited to have been chosen for this program.  I left at 5pm, exhausted and sad, lower than I've felt in ages.  I went home and slept from 6pm to 7:30am.

Of course I'll go back, and hope it gets better as we all get to know each other and start vanquishing our demons.  But for now, I'm a little disappointed.  :(

At 29 you'd think I'd know better

woo hoo, I'm at 29 weeks! Almost 3/4 way through (or maybe already, depending on when BabyX decides to make her appearance). So far, I still say it's not as bad as I thought it would be.

The childbirth class through our hospital IS as bad as I thought it would be, and maybe worse, unfortunately. And I signed up for the 7 week series thinking it would be better to spread it out. Sigh.

We spend part of the time pretending like we're in labor and contorting ourselves into different positions on chairs, exercise balls, and the floor. On the bright side, our partners rub our backs. The other part of the time is spent staring at various posters around the room with pictures I'd rather not see, "sharing our feelings" in stupid small group exercises, or watching disgusting movies. And this is after only 2 classes... I can only hope it gets better.

This week's topic is "pushing and delivery of baby", plus as an extra added bonus, episiotomy (if you don't know what that is, do yourself a favor and DON'T look it up), and medication. I will say I am genuinely interested in DRUGS, so I'm wondering if it might be worth showing up late. Because there is no way I am going to watch a movie of women giving birth. Last week's movie of women writhing around in labor pain (with no drugs!) was bad enough. TJ and I actually left the room at one point (and we weren't alone.) Ick.

In a few weeks we'll actually cover some useful topics like "hey what do I do with this thing now that it's here?" and "hey, how do I feed this screaming bundle of joy?". That I'm actually looking forward to.

My company also offers a short list of FREE baby-related classes, so we're signed up for those. The feeding one was surprisingly useful and non-touchy-feely and not disgusting, despite the unsettling presence of a reversible anatomically-correct plush model of a breast. But I did take about 4 pages of notes there (in my awesome new pink Moleskine notebook!) so I'm glad we went.

Once again, I respectfully request that no one leaves any childbirth stories in the comments, unless it is something like "it was so easy, and better than Disneyland". kthxbai!

If I had a hammer

Woot! Another fantabulous jewelry making class with my favorite instructor, Irene Huberman! Today it was "Stamped Message Charms" at BCC.

I've always been fascinated by jewelry with words and letters on it. For one thing, I love the idea that I could get something personalized. As I kid, I was resigned to never being able to buy anything with my name on it from the random gift shops in museums and Disney World.

Also, I love books, and reading, and just words in general. One of my favorite pieces of jewelry is a hand-stamped set of sterling rings with the words to a French poem on it. I got it at a boutique in San Jose a few years ago. Unfortunately, I lost one of the seven rings, so the poem is incomplete. Sad.

But today in class, I made a super-personalized bracelet. All metalworking classes start with copper since it's cheaper and a better practice material, but I love the look of it because it's warm and different.



I had so much fun with the stamping, and I'm definitely going to do more of it. I ordered some new small letter stamps today, along with some cute design stamps, so I'll have some new pieces in my shop soon.

You can't touch this

Yes, boys and girls, it's time for another episode of sewing class Show and Tell with your host Anandi.

Yesterday I made a potholder. Not just any potholder, but one that works like an oven mitt, where you stick your hand in it. Behold:



Here's the less impressive back (don't pay any attention to the wonky stitching that was supposed to be *under* the bias tape - that's operator error):



This was a really fun project - it had a lot of steps and was really satisfying when the finished piece came together at the end. Even when the stitching isn't perfect, it's still a functional potholder. And really, who's gonna look at my potholders too closely? The side with the wonky stitching is the one that touches the hot things.

We learned how to use a pattern, and cut several layers of fabric at once with a rotary cutter. We learned how to use and sew bias tape, and how to use a zipper foot on the sewing machine to sew down the sides with the cording (to give it more body).

If you want the pattern, my fabulous sewing teacher Eva Holen sells it in quilt stores, and I found one on EBay.

She also let me come in 30 min early to work on my placemats from last week's class, the one I missed. I did the cutting and initial sewing but have a few more steps to do to finish it. She said I could come back tomorrow morning while she's teaching her other class, and finish them up. I'll probably do that since I don't have a job right now. Woo hoo!

I think I must have learned how to do some of this stuff in 8th grade home ec, but I really don't remember it. And I certainly didn't *like* it, not least of all because I had to take home ec at a high school that was totally ghetto, because my Catholic school didn't offer it but required us to take it. It was a very interesting experience from a people-watching perspective for my 11 year old self, but not so much educational. Lots of fights (other people) and a lot of PDA (because it was a high school). Oh, and the worst part was that our principal nun had to drive me there because I didn't live in that school district. *So* embarassing.

Boy, am I glad not to be a kid anymore.

It's so easy, so damn easy

So I promised Wendi that I'd post pictures of my sewing class projects. Now that it's almost time for my 3rd class, I had better post what I made last week!

The first project last Wednesday was this little tissue pack holder. For this project, we learned to measure and cut 4 4x6 inch rectangles from scrap fabric using the rotary cutter and quilting ruler.



Now, I'm not a fan of fabric cozies for things that don't really need a cover, so I'm trying to think of a good use for this. In the right size and with a smaller opening it would make a decent iPod holder or phone cozy.

But the really cool thing for me was learning how this was put together. You iron two of the rectangles in half lengthwise, and place them on top of the other two rectangles, and then sew around the perimeter of the whole thing. So when you're making it, it looks like this:



Then you cut out the corner bits to reduce the bulk, and flip the whole thing inside out so that it looks all neat and clean. You don't even need to trim all the wooly threads from the end of the fabric because it's all hidden. I had no idea that's how things were made!

And on another note, my total lack of spatial visualization and relationship ability is haunting me in a major way with the sewing.

In order to cut the fabric with the rotary (pizza) cutter, I need to use my right hand, and you need to put the ruler on the left, on top of the fabric. But you have to orient/flip everything so you can measure it properly and cut the length you want. It takes me a couple of tries to really figure out where I need to put everything (fabric, ruler, hand, cutter). I just can't see it in my head, without actually trying it out to see if that's where I need to cut/position. I honestly think that part of my brain is just missing.

When I was in high school, I took an "engineering aptitude test" that consisted of a ton of visual questions like this. They'd show you a diagram of a 3-D box, and ask you what it would look like if you cut along certain lines and flattened it out.

Or they'd show you the flattened version of a shape and asked what it would look like if you folded it along the bold lines. I remember just sitting there in shock, having NO EARTHLY IDEA what to answer, because I just couldn't see it. It was crazy, especially since I have mad standardized test-taking skillz. But apparently not *any* spatial relationship skills at all.

So that's going to be rough with the sewing, but I'm hoping I'll get better with practice. As long as I don't have to sew a 3-D pyramid, I should be fine!

Tomorrow night is placemats and potholders. Yippeee!

Till then I walk alone

So I've been in a training class all week in downtown Seattle, for work. It's been a *fantastic* class and I'll probably blog about it in my work blog next week (it has been languishing for far too long).

One of the great things about the class, which at first freaked me out, is that there is *no* Internet access in the classroom. I hadn't realized how much freakin' time I spend online, either checking my email (work and personal) or surfing the web. Without this huge distraction, I can actually pay attention to the instructor and have learned an amazing amount of cool stuff this week. It is so great to settle my mind and focus on one thing instead of multitasking - it really has reduced my stress level. I'm definitely going to try to keep this going, and minimize my background tasks so I can focus on one thing at a time since it's been hugely effective.

The other great thing about the class is that it's downtown. I have taken the bus there every day this week. Seattle has a great bus system that I discovered while I was in graduate school since parking in Seattle proper is either too expensive or hard to find. Couple that with my pathetic parallel parking skills and the shiny new car, and I'll take the bus anyday. Especially since Microsoft provides us with a free bus pass.

Getting up early to catch the bus, and walking everywhere once I'm downtown has been such a great change of pace for me and is shaking me out of my suburban rut. I have more time in my day, and oddly, am less tired than usual - I guess it's that extra exercise, and maybe the fact that sloth breeds more sloth.

Every morning I've walked past a coffee cart on Pine St, just before 7th next to Vons. There is an adorable Golden Retriever named Buddy manning the cart (with his person making the coffee, of course. Silly you - dogs don't make coffee for people!). I've stopped to say hi to him almost every morning (when he's out of his crate) and also at lunch time just to get some prime dog lovin' before going back to class.

Little things like that make me happy. And tomorrow, I might spend a bit of time shopping after class. There is prime shopping downtown and I'm more than a little sick of my usual Redmond Town Center/Bellevue Square jaunts. I've been looking forward to this all week, and even finished my statistics homework set #7 last night so I could shop with a clear conscience tomorrow. (Though I really should get started on #8 - I only have a week left and 2 homework sets and the final to go!)

One thing that did not make me happy - on the bus yesterday I sat next to a guy who was avidly reading Ann Rule's book about the Green River Killer. I know that True Crime is a valid literary genre and all that, but if you're into that stuff, please read it at home. Otherwise people in public spaces will think you're a wacko. I tried to sit very still and blend into the scenery. Maybe this guy reads these books so no one will sit next to him? I thought about changing seats, but the bus was full and I didn't want to call undue attention to myself...

Tomorrow I'm going to drive (all the better to transport my shopping!) so no weird bus dudes for me.