Time and time again

Hah - never say never. I need a journal-y place to record my very boring thoughts on exercise and Weight Watchers, and the blog thing seems to be working well for me so I'm resurrecting this one for that purpose.

I am an enthusiastic starter of weight loss programs, and also a quitter. I do well for about 3 weeks then fall off the wagon because I get busy, and let's face it, journaling every bite is just not that fun. Especially when the thing you're going to eat is gonna blow the entire day's allowance, and you want to eat it anyway.

And then of course are the "special occasions" which are really just code for "I don't want to keep track today, it's too hard". I mean a genuine special occasion like my birthday or wedding is fine. But "we have friends in town" or "it's the first nice dinner out we've had all week" just doesn't cut it.

I've been feeling pretty crap-tastic lately. I am a prisoner to the number on the scale and it's so awfully horrendous that I want to be like an ostrich and put my head back in the sand. But more than the number, how I feel just plain sucks. I am sluggish and tired. My body is bigger than I am used to, so my cute clothes no longer fit. I also can't curl up as effectively on the couch because I'm all blobby.

I started Weight Watchers in February determined to change this, for the last time. And as work got busy, I stopped going. And stopped tracking. *But* they have this new 'Monthly Pass' deal, so I kept paying. Which made me realize I could go back at any time. (And every time I got the new card in the mail, it made me feel just a bit guiltier.)

So this morning, at 8:30am, I found a center near my house and went back. I was very pleased to find that I had lost weight since my last weigh in. I now weigh 174.8. Still shudder-ific, but I need to stop being owned by that number. I want to lose about 40-45 pounds, but more importantly, I want to avoid diabetes and wear a size 8-10 again.

Today, Aimee and I walked for 30 min, the first time in weeks. And later in the day, I took the pups to the park and got in another 20 min (at least) of walking.

And I ate all my meals at home today, and tracked POINTS for the first time in weeks. A good start.