Makin' love out of nothing at all

Well, so today was my first day at my new (old) job. But actually, it was a day of New Employee Orientation. So I got no real work done, and learned only 1 new fact, which was pretty cool, except that it doesn't apply to me:

If you have had or adopted a child anytime in the last year, even if your start date at work is today, you are eligible to take your 4 weeks of paid parental leave.

Now *that* is a pretty amazing benefit in itself, but the fact that it retroactively applies to children acquired before you were an employee? Wow. There were a couple of people in my orientation group that gasped out loud when they heard it. 4 weeks of unexpected paid vacation to bond with your kid? Sweet!

And speaking of the orientation group, there were more than 100 people who started today. And they hold orientation every Monday. Talk about getting assimilated into the empire.

I guess having to attend a day and a half of New Employee Orientation is my punishment for quitting Microsoft in the first place. I wish there were some kind of escape clause for people who have been gone less than a year. I'm actually ready to start jumping into real work, getting my laptop set up, and all that, but instead, I'm sitting in NEO getting the life sucked out of me by hearing all the info I already knew and watching a lot of very well made propaganda videos.

The best thing that happened to me today? Winning a $10 gift certificate to the company store because I knew the name of the weird 'O' character in the Microsoft logo. It's a blibbet. See, I knew that this useless knowledge would come in handy someday!!