I had a crazy thought last night when I lay in bed trying to fall asleep. I'm closer to BabyT's 15th birthday than my own. (14 years vs. 20!) How the heck did that happen? When did I get old? It was long before my conversation with TJ last week that began with "I was listening to NPR, and ...". Because dude, only old people listen to NPR. Arghhh.
Anyway, I must have been a resilient 15, because that was a tough year for me. The kind of stress I was under then would send me to bed for weeks if it happened now.
Let's see, there was senior year in a high school I was *SO* done with, the stress of applying to (and getting into!) a decent engineering college, extracurriculars after school and every freakin' night of the week, dealing with the obligatory horrible high school breakup and resulting drama, a weekend job at Arby's, and the usual teenage angst with my parents and life in general.
It would have made a world of difference to know with certainty that all that stuff would come together and I'd have the life that I wanted. I often marvel at how lucky and blessed I am, and how much easier life seems to be now, even with the current not-sleeping, baby-hubby-work-house-dogs-craft craziness. I feel like I have choices and leisure time, rather than everything barrelling down the train tracks at 150mph with every decision and activity needing to lead to the Right Choices to set me up for future success.
Wow, do I not want to relive my teenage years. And hopefully I'll have the grace, strength and understanding to guide T through hers. And I'll be even more OLD then. Sigh.
When did you realize you got old?