And then it was (and still is) the general feeling of not doing anything well. Working and parenting is tricky. You never feel like you're spending enough time on either one. I thought this was unique to working part-time, but an informal poll amongst my friends tells me it's not. There were so many days at work where I finally got into a "flow", and then had to leave early to pick up BabyT at daycare.
|XML Sculpture by|
Ralph TQ on Flickr
But recently we made a switch. TJ likes going into work super-early, and the bonus for us is that he can come home earlier. As a result, I drop off T at daycare, and he picks her up on his way home. I like that better because I'm not so much of a morning person. Previously my work day started whenever I got to work and I could never get there before 7:30am. Now I start later, but can stay all day (and most of the night) if I want. Psychologically, that works better for me, even if I don't pull all nighters in practice.
Yesterday was a LOOOONG work day, the likes of which I haven't done in *years*. One of my side projects at work is rebuilding a crazy spreadsheet tool into an Access database. (Yo, don't hate on Access - it's the right tool for small applications you need to build relatively quickly.) I am actually really excited about this project, except for the fact that I *never* have time to work on it because it requires a lot of focus, not just 15 min between meetings.
But with my more flexible schedule, I had some time yesterday after all my meetings to really sit down and noodle on it. And OMG FUN. It's so different from what I normally do. I learned how to write XSLT from scratch. Early in the evening, it seemed insurmountable, like I wouldn't be able to figure this out, and certainly not in one night. By 8pm I was cookin'. By 9, I was supposed to go home, but really wanted to leave my project in a partially working state. By 11, my brain was done so I left, with one tiny part of the code I couldn't figure out.
While I was trying to fall asleep, I went over the logic in my head, trying to figure out why it wasn't working. And believe it or not, a solution came to me.
I had just managed to fall asleep when BabyT started yelling. Well, I guess a mama can't have it all.
But this morning, I tried my new solution and it WORKED. Hoooooray! I love when it all comes together. So just for a minute I can pretend I'm "having it all". Heh.