No, I am not willing to send you the FREE item I'm giving away via internal mail as it requires me to find an envelope, find your address and drop off the envelope in the mailroom. FREE, remember?
No, it is not amusing for the 65th time to see you imitate me waddling down the hallway. And no, I don't want to have a heartfelt conversation about why I suddenly snapped and told you to stop.
Dear Amazon Vendor,
I ordered a $2 cable from you a month ago and it never arrived. You said you sent the replacement last week and it's still not here. Really??
While I appreciate you updating your software, when it causes my phone to lose all mobile network connectivity, I get a little twitchy. It seems like I *should* be able to check email when not connected to wireless, right?
Dear Northridge Publishing,
Your magazines are gorgeous but your billing practices and customer service suck. $200 of random charges on my credit card and it's not renewal time? And when I inquire about it, no response? WTF?
Dear Dentist's Office,
I realize it's been over a year since I last came in, but why did it take 4 phone calls to figure out I was an existing patient? Because we need the dentist visit to be *more* unpleasant?