Saturday, October 20, 2012

I'm learning to live

It's been a little over 2 weeks as a family of four and so far it's gone much better than I expected.  Most of this is due to the fact that TJ is home so we're pretty much always dividing and conquering.

Things that are going well:

No meltdowns yet, from anyone.  I'm pretty surprised, to be honest.  I suppose it's too early to get too excited about that, though.

Everyone is fed, clothed, clean and mostly happy.  That's a big deal, right?  BabyM sleeps in pretty good stretches usually - 2.5 hours up to 8 hours once (!).  It's all over the place - sometimes during the day, sometimes at night, but I'll take it.

I'm off the pain meds.  I can drive!  Things (mostly) don't hurt.  I can leave the house on my own! (In theory anyway.  In practice I need to take The Baby since I'm the only one who can feed her.)

I'm pretty well-rested.  I am one of those people who can nap anytime, almost anywhere.  TJ holds down the fort with T since I've got all the night duty with The Baby.  (I know, he is so awesome.)

I'm (mostly) accepting that I don't *have* to do anything right now except take care of my family.  It's hard for my Type-A self, but I keep reminding myself I have about 20 weeks left at home.  That's a long time.

Nursing.  So easy this time.  And efficient.  Loving the snuggly quiet time with BabyM, and also sometimes T keeps us company and "reads" us a book.

Things I'd like to be better:

T is waking multiple times at night and requires soothing.  Not surprising considering the circumstances but very rough on TJ who is NOT a napper.  I can't help much yet since I'm already up a couple of times with The Baby, but I'm hoping it'll iron out soon.  Sort of wondering if cosleeping will fix it - the one night she came to our bed, she slept through *everything*.

I had forgotten how ridiculously hard it is to leave the house with a baby.  T has gotten pretty self sufficient - she can put on her own shoes/jacket, use the bathroom and mostly dress herself.  We're starting over.  It took us 90 minutes to get out the door this morning to go to the Children's Museum.  Thankfully we didn't need to be there by a certain time.

BabyM hates the carseat.  I don't know why.  On the bright side, she almost always falls asleep after a few minutes of driving.  But this is the only time she really cries, and it's awful.

I still don't want to make a lot of plans with people.  First, it's hard to get out of the house and be somewhere at a certain time, not to mention, I may not want to be awake at that time.

Then I have to figure out the nursing-in-public thing, made more complicated by the fact that I can't find my nursing cover up.  The blanket over the shoulder trick is NOT working for me.  Also, it's so much easier with the enormous nursing pillow.  Sigh.

I miss my big girl.  I miss having uninterrupted time with her.  I'm often still asleep when she leaves for preschool in the morning.  She is here and awake for such limited hours that I feel like I'm missing out.  Sniffle.  Nearly every book-reading session or art project is interrupted because The Baby needs to eat and right now I'm the only one who can feed her. 

Which leads me to Introducing the Bottle.  We need to do this, but I'm afraid.  One of the nurses at the hospital gave her a paci (I know, too early!) and she took to it right away, but it screwed up her latch for the *entire next day*.  I was really upset about this, thinking we had broken our perfectly-nursing baby.  Fortunately, the following day she was fine and we haven't tried a paci since.

But it would be nice if TJ could feed her occasionally, *and* she's going to need to take a bottle when I go back to work in March.   Which means I need to start pumping anyway, so that we can stockpile milk.  Blergh.


Not bad for the first few weeks, though.  Fingers crossed that the relative peacefulness and Baby Good Sleep will last!


  1. Congratulations!!! It sounds to me like you are doing great! It gets SO much better. A year ago I wouldn't have ventured out of the house with both kids to the store or anyplace!!! But, now that they are older it's so much easier. It's funny to look back now and think about how stressful it was, because just like everything else with a forget the tough stuff! ;) As for the nursing - you are awesome. I'm a BIG pro-nursing girl and I love that you are willing to do it in public (can you get another one?? i got one off etsy for pretty cheap) and also I totally agree w/the no paci statement. I know a lot of people would disagree with me...and there were times that I wished my kids used a paci - but I'm so glad that we ultimately didn't...saved us a LOT of hassle in the long run! Okay this was a really long post from somebody you don't even know, ha! Have a great day! :)

    1. Thank you *so* much for your kind words!! It's so nice to read them at 3am when I'm feeding the baby :) And YES to forgetting about the newborn stuff - we just did this 3 years ago and I've already forgotten. I can't believe it.

      I'm still looking for that cover because I know as soon as i order another one, the first will reappear :P

      the paci was super helpful for about 7 months for our older daughter to fall asleep, so i'm not opposed to it on principle, but just don't want to introduce it too early!

      thanks again for stopping by! your work is beautiful.

  2. you know what, I think you're doing awesome. one step at a time, you're all getting there. *hugs*

    if you need a chat - you know where to find me. :)

    1. thank you!! like I said to em above, it means a lot to hear your kind words. We had a rough day yesterday, so even better to re-read them now :)

  3. You are doing great! Glad to hear an update, and thinking of you all.

    1. Thank you!! We will take all the good thoughts people can spare :D

  4. Your Type A self will get it - practice makes perfect, right? I am not as Type A but i still can empathize. I so remember feeling utterly panicked when i had to leave the house with both (!) (or later still all three) (!!!) children and their Stuff (TM). I think my reaction was a mature, "I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS." Ugh. But it got easier and better the more i did it, so i sort of forced myself to do it when i didn't really need to - practice runs to do little things like fill the car up with gas or go to the grocery store when we weren't rushed for time. Much nicer to work out the kinks with no sense of urgency.

    Speaking of getting out of the house, i just posted on AskMoxie (under the code name Mavis) WRT a possible Seattle-area meetup. I'm friends with Jan IRL - she's the one who introduced me to Moxie - but haven't seen her in several months. A meetup would be fun but no pressure because if anyone gets what you're going through, Jan and i do! :)

    1. I replied to your post. Not sure how to get in touch with you & Jan, but I think we can make this work if we can meet in Redmond/Bellevue/Kirkland? Email me through the button at the top left?

  5. Glad to hear things are going well! In the newborn stage, I took comfort in sort of a fundamentalist time management strategy. I'd only aim to get a few things done beyond utterly basic time management. A blog post, a walk, one phone call. That's it. Eventually you can start to stretch that out. If you're already hitting the children's museum, then that's advanced!

    1. I'm SO with you on this. That's what I'm doing, too - one errand/to-do per day and maybe one "nice to have".

      Fun outings like the Children's Museum are only possible right now since hubby is around. I'm not brave enough to take them both somewhere just yet, though it feels like it's in the realm of possibility soon...

      Part of it is wanting T to feel like her life is still sort of normal - ie we still want to do fun stuff with her.


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