Thursday, August 09, 2012

To (co)sleep, perchance to dream

Prior to having a child, I had these dreams of being a super crunchy (but vaccinating!) granola mama who coslept with her baby in this awesome "family bed". I imagined lazy mornings where we were all snuggly and stayed in our PJs till noon.

Um, yeah. Well, I guess the last part was true because I couldn't find the time or energy to get dressed in the morning with a newborn. But the family bed thing never happened.

I bought one of those Snuggle Nest things for our bed, but we quickly realized it took up too much space, and it made my new mama light-sleep even worse to have the baby RIGHT THERE. TJ also didn't sleep well with her in our bed, and I think we were both scared of rolling or jostling the cosleeper. Without it, we were even more worried about her getting squished or stuck under the blankets, etc.

Not to mention The Baby only liked to sleep in her vibrating bouncy seat for most of the first couple of months. So we finally just put that bouncy seat in her crib so she could sleep there at the foot of our bed. After she outgrew the bouncy seat, she slept just fine in her crib and waking up to happy baby noises was actually pretty awesome.

So we continued that way for 13 months, when we finally moved her crib down to her room. She's been a pretty great sleeper, for the most part, with some notable regressions, so we don't mess with The System.

After our Ireland trip, we moved her into her own Big Girl Bed, and she sleeps even better there (mostly). So I've given up the dream of cosleeping.

Until we went to Portland for the weekend. She is too big for a Pack N Play and our hotel room had just one king sized bed, with plenty of room for both of us.
She slept great snuggled under all those blankets. Me, not so much. I woke up to find her feet in my belly, her feet on my face (seriously?!), and tiny hands on my cheeks, with her face two inches above mine, asking "are you awake, mama?" In fact, I was not, until just then. But it was fun for the weekend.

Long term, I am just fine with our non-co-sleeping arrangement! We'll see what Baby X' has in store for us.

9 comments:

  1. I never had the cosleeping dream, but mijito requires it (doesn't sleep on back).. He sleeps on my chest on his belly for now. It's been fine as he's smaller, but I'd like to get him into the cosleeper at night soon. It is nice to hear him breathe sweetly on my chest though...

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    1. ahh, you're getting me all excited about having a sweet snuggly tiny baby ;) glad to hear it's going ok.

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  2. Co-slept with younger son because he woke up so often. (Found out about 9 mos in that he had sleep apnea.) If it weren't for cosleeping, I would've never gotten any sleep at all. Still, I slept awfully light and was pretty sleep deprived until he was two, when he started sleeping for more than 5 hours at a time.

    I'm very jealous of parents who have children who sleep well. :-)

    Good luck with #2! :-)

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    1. Yeah, I'm definitely not complaining - T was a better sleeper than we expected, which goes well with the fact that I am very high sleep needs. (9-10 hours is ideal for me).

      It's so weird to me that moving the baby away just by a few feet improved my quality of sleep. I think it had to do with the cosleeper more than the baby herself. Or hormones, or something.

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    2. I'm not sure, either, but it made a huge difference when we moved younger son from the cosleeper to a mat on the floor. (Sounds silly, I know, but even after he was in his own bed, he would often come in during the night and want to sleep with us. It was the only way to get any sleep.) I think it's just that I'm such a light sleeper that any little thing will wake me up...including little people rolling about.

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  3. It all just depends on your family and how everyone sleeps. I am a pretty light sleeper but go back easily so having the baby in bed felt safe and easy. David sleeps like a log, so we're not bugging him. I've had a co-sleeper too. Usually the baby started there but moved to the bed and didn't go back during the night - it's pretty nice as an "in case they roll off" device.

    I had a playgroup of friends with similar parenting style to me overall, but very different sleep needs - one husband was a bad sleeper and had trouble getting back to sleep if he woke up, so the baby slept in another room on a twin and mom went to the baby rather than the other way around. Another mom could never get back to sleep so dad took over night duty early on with bottles.

    The point is that people need to sleep, and you just figure out how to make that happen. I'm sure X' will teach you some new tricks, but it'll all work out in the end.

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    1. Yeah, the worst part is that since having T, I sleep best in the bed ALL BY MYSELF, so even having TJ there makes it worse ;)

      Yeah, we'll work something out with Baby X'. I hope her waking doesn't wake up T, though, since T's room is right under ours. On the bright side, nobody has to get up for work early those first 4 months or so.

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  4. Little kids seem to move all over the place while they sleep. So yeah, it's feet in the face, feet in the back, etc. I can't sleep well at all when I get stuck sharing a bed with one of them on a trip (a pillow between us helps, though).

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    1. The pillow tip is a good one, thanks. We were using all available pillows to fence her in so she didn't fall off the ridiculously high bed. She fell out once in Ireland, and once at home, and it's so sad to hear that cry in the middle of the night :(

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