Monday, September 24, 2012

Circling the wagons

So there's that "nesting" instinct that's supposed to kick in just as a woman gets ready to have a baby.  It's hard for me to tell if that has happened/is happening because I'm pretty project-oriented to begin with, and doing stuff like organizing my pantry is fun for me, pregnant or not.

But I will tell you what I've noticed in the past couple of weeks - I have a HUGE desire to hole up in my house and not go anywhere, not make plans, and not see anyone.  Even social media seems taxing and too busy and interactive.  Someone else mentioned this happening to them while pregnant, so I'm not alone.  I'm already an introvert to begin with, so I suspect something hormonal is enhancing those tendencies even more.

Sadly, September was a bad month to feel this way.  It's been jam-packed with appointments and errands to get ready for Baby X', BabyT's birthday, adjustment to her new preschool (though the schedule seems to definitely agree with her more), the start of her new dance class, wrapping up work before leave, and lots of family in town.  Worst is that I'm exhausted because I can't sleep well at all (thanks pregnancy-induced snoring and being planet-sized!).

But it's coming to a close now, and I have 6 days left.  I'm not working this week.  My last prenatal appointment is tomorrow, and I have to attend "Curriculum Night" at T's preschool so I can meet the other parents.  (Ok, "have to" is a strong word, but it's something I'd like to do.) 

TJ drew the line in the sand about not doing any more things from The List.  We're ready with all the important stuff.  No more stressing about hanging up coat hooks and pictures or other low-priority tasks.  I like it and it's just the "permission" I needed to let those last few things go.

Besides taking T to preschool, our calendar is blissfully empty the rest of the week.  I'm going to do a little crafting, play with my new DSLR camera, and spend a lot of time at home with my girl in our last few days of being a mama-baby duo.  (Just writing that makes me a little teary.) 

I need this quiet time to get myself together for what's going to be a difficult month up ahead.  I'm certain that the pregnancy and nursing hormones have erased the bad memories from 2009, because I remember it being "not that bad" while TJ remembers the first few weeks as "awful" as we figured out how to get by on broken sleep, nursing ickiness, and troubleshooting baby cries. 

This time we get to do it again, 3 years older, and with a little girl who needs us just as much as her new baby sister will.  We are lucky to have people around offering help, but most of my worries are about the things that other people just can't do - helping BabyT feel secure about her place in our family while also bonding and learning about new Baby X'.  I'm not too concerned about what we're going to eat or getting T to the places she needs to be - with two adults at home, that should be a little easier.

So if you email or call or text us and we don't reply, it's because we're in the bunker waiting for the Armageddon.  No wait, that's not right.  But we are focusing inward this week (and of course the next few weeks).   Please leave a message after the beep and we'll get back to you when we are ready.

BEEP.

17 comments:

  1. Good luck!

    Interesting that you don't remember the hectic-ness of your first few weeks with T. It seems other moms forget too. My mom once called me frantically on Skype video because she saw that I was online at 6 am my time. She asked if something were wrong; why was I up at such a time? Had I stayed up all night?
    (Answer: "umm.... I have a baby? Don't you remember this, mom?"). Another time I was talking to my mom with Skype video with the baby in my lap and he just started crying out of nowhere. My mom freaked out. ("Why is he crying?" Answer: "Umm... I don't know; babies cry.")

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    1. Lol, I love how you're just so matter-of-fact about it ;) Yeah, I logically remember that I was crabby and so freakin' tired, and frazzled, but I don't *feel* it or feel scared of what's coming. Isn't that strange?! I gotta think it was related to nursing or post-partum hormone changes.

      I guess that's nature's way of trying to ensure the continuity of the species ;)

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  2. The project manager in you should be very, very proud. Good luck - I'm sure it's going to be great.

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    1. Thank you! I can't believe we're so close. I do wish i could "store up" some sleep, though :D

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  3. I was definitely the same way and my posts were minimal during this period. Enjoy the time with T and give her as much time as you can once X comes. That was the hardest part for me at the beginning. Good luck!

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    1. Thanks! I am really worried about that, esp since I'll be at the hospital for 3 days minimum but at least the hubby will be able to go back and forth and see her.

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  4. Yes, hunker down & enjoy these precious last moments before all hell breaks loose (kidding, kidding, beautiful new life, etc...)
    oddly I didn't have that normal "momnesia" for the difficult early days, in fact I think I had a bit of PTSD. I think I'm rare in this, most of my friends feel like you do.
    Good luck to all 3 of you!

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    1. i have low expectations :D

      Interesting re: PTSD. T was a pretty easy baby, all things considered so we were very lucky. i'm crossing my fingers for another one, though expecting this one will be so different...

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  5. Good luck with the birth - looking forward to meeting the new little one!

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  6. I love how zen you sound now. You'll be a great mom to two darling children. My grandmother told me once that when my mom had me she was worried how my sister would handle it (being the only child for 4 years). So grandma told her it's a lot like putting cats together. They figure it out somehow. Whether that's true or not I always thought it was funny. T and Baby X will be great together. Look who their parents are.

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    1. Hah, so true. TJ wants to bring T to the hospital and then we all come home together, which is similar to how you introduce a new puppy into the house ;)

      Thanks for the good wishes.

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  7. Via this post, it does seem like you are totally prepared; Might be the Project Manager in you :) About BabyT's feelings, my $0.02 is, to tell yourself to take it slow. Your thoughts are spot on, so I'm sure your parenting path will be too. Good Luck with everything!

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    1. Thanks! I think we have no choice but to take it slow. Babies do what they want to do ;D (And so do preschoolers, for that matter...)

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  8. Good Luck Anandi! So thankful for those baby-amnesia hormones. Things are hard, but without sleep our brains lack the energy to form permanent memories...or something like that. Glad you have a little downtime now ;) ps. i don't think the special bond you have with your first born ever goes away, so don't worry!

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    1. Thanks for the reassurance! The downtime would be better if I were more motivated to *do* something with it :D I feel pretty lazy, but am telling myself it's ok. Sometimes I sit in the craft room and rearrange supplies a bit...

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  9. Good luck with everything! I don't have amnesia about those first days, yikes. Hoping that being experienced helps you through, and that all goes smoothly as possible!

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