Friday, October 26, 2012

The loose affiliation with the real

I had a surreal moment this week.  I went back to my doctor's office for a quick check of my C-section incision, and they took me back to the same room I had all my pregnancy checkups with both babies, and I had the stunning  realization that I was NOT PREGNANT.

I know, I've spent most of my life being not pregnant, but in that doctor's office context, it was very weird.  It seemed so abrupt - every week they checked the baby's heartbeat and measured my enormous belly, and this time they didn't, because that same baby was sleeping in her car seat on the floor next to me.  So strange.

I enjoyed this second pregnancy a lot more, probably because I knew what to expect.  The first trimester was definitely worse (hello hormones!) but the rest of it, not so bad.  I didn't stress about my weight gain, because I knew there would be so much fluid retention that I wouldn't know how much actual weight I gained.  On the bright side, I have lost 30 pounds in 3 weeks, and I'm still retaining some water.  So yay for that.

In the last few months of pregnancy, I was round and glowing like the sun.  Seriously, despite being huge, I felt great and happy. Strangers would smile at my giant pregnant waddling self or ask questions about when I was due. Other pregnant mamas would smile too, like we were all part of some happy secret club.

Now it's different.  I'm tired, wearing sweats or loose maternity clothes, and obviously have some baby weight to lose.  I'm probably grimacing from lugging that ridiculous infant seat around, or glancing around nervously trying not to expose myself while nursing in public  Not exactly attracting positive energy, right?

It's such a weird transition.  I can see why women grieve not being pregnant anymore (especially with sleep deprivation and hormones addling one's brain as well!)

But we have a BABY.  And she is (so far, knock on wood!) as cooperative as her sister was.  Which makes it pretty darn awesome.  I'm not dragging myself through the day and I am actually getting a little time to myself.  I get to cuddle on a baby who's plumping up (love that!) and getting over all the weird newborn skin stuff.  Sometimes we go to Target.  Because where else do mamas and babies go during the day?

The new normal is working out pretty well so far.  I suspect it will only get better.


  1. so so precious, and it must have been so weird being in that VERY same room for your check up :)

    1. Yeah, it was the room and the same nurse that made it odd. I've been in there a million times, but always pregnant :)

  2. "Sometimes we go to Target. Because where else do mamas and babies go during the day?"

    Ha! I think I walked to Target every other day when I was on maternity leave with my first son. It got me out of the house and is a great place for public nursing (we used to go sit in the garden furniture "rooms" they had set up and nurse on a rocking bench in a gazebo).

    I have been pregnant for 27 months out of the past six and half years and I find that it almost seems like my normal state to me now. I sometimes glance at myself when passing a mirror and feel a pang of surprise and sadness that I am not actually pregnant (nor likely to be every again).

    1. Hey, thanks for the tip! I was wondering what to do if I was at target and needed to nurse. I just figured I'd go back to the car :)

      And yeah, the "not ever again" is a hard one to fathom. I'm definitely trying to soak up all the baby goodness for that reason.

  3. I sometimes catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or window, and am momentarily taken aback that I am no longer pregnant and chubby, I'm just chubby. :) Three kids in just over two years can do that to a woman.

    On a completely different note (okay, not so completely different), new mamas also go to Panera for some kick-arse macaroni and cheese and tasty baked goods.

    1. OMG, I had no idea about Panera! We have one near us, so I'll have to give it a try :D Mac n cheese is my favorite food EVER.

      Yeah, I have a much better body image when I'm pregnant - I figure I'm *supposed* to be chubby :P

  4. Oh my goodness we have that onesie, it was one of my favorites for both boys, I think it got destroyed somehow after L wore it a few times. Just seeing that tiny hand coming out of that onesie makes me miss tiny babies.

    1. I love it too - it's from Old Navy, so I'm actually surprised it lasted now for its second baby :) In fact, I think we lent it out to a friend in the meantime so it might be on its 3rd baby!

      I know, the tiny hands and feet are amazing.


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