I had a surreal moment this week. I went back to my doctor's office for a quick check of my C-section incision, and they took me back to the same room I had all my pregnancy checkups with both babies, and I had the stunning realization that I was NOT PREGNANT.
I know, I've spent most of my life being not pregnant, but in that doctor's office context, it was very weird. It seemed so abrupt - every week they checked the baby's heartbeat and measured my enormous belly, and this time they didn't, because that same baby was sleeping in her car seat on the floor next to me. So strange.
I enjoyed this second pregnancy a lot more, probably because I knew what to expect. The first trimester was definitely worse (hello hormones!) but the rest of it, not so bad. I didn't stress about my weight gain, because I knew there would be so much fluid retention that I wouldn't know how much actual weight I gained. On the bright side, I have lost 30 pounds in 3 weeks, and I'm still retaining some water. So yay for that.
In the last few months of pregnancy, I was round and glowing like the sun. Seriously, despite being huge, I felt great and happy. Strangers would smile at my giant pregnant waddling self or ask questions about when I was due. Other pregnant mamas would smile too, like we were all part of some happy secret club.
Now it's different. I'm tired, wearing sweats or loose maternity clothes, and obviously have some baby weight to lose. I'm probably grimacing from lugging that ridiculous infant seat around, or glancing around nervously trying not to expose myself while nursing in public Not exactly attracting positive energy, right?
It's such a weird transition. I can see why women grieve not being pregnant anymore (especially with sleep deprivation and hormones addling one's brain as well!)
But we have a BABY. And she is (so far, knock on wood!) as cooperative as her sister was. Which makes it pretty darn awesome. I'm not dragging myself through the day and I am actually getting a little time to myself. I get to cuddle on a baby who's plumping up (love that!) and getting over all the weird newborn skin stuff. Sometimes we go to Target. Because where else do mamas and babies go during the day?
The new normal is working out pretty well so far. I suspect it will only get better.