Even if we won't admit it to ourselves

I am in the midst of an EXCELLENT book called Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown. It is the kind of book that resonates with the ideas I have in theory, but is compelling enough to get me to actually DO something to live those ideas.

In a way, it's a time management and productivity book, but instead of squeezing more things into your limited time, it's about choosing VERY strategically what is actually worth spending time on. I'm reading it slowly to savor it and I am thinking about how to put these concepts into practice.

To that end, I sat down today and wrote up my priority list. It hasn't changed, but I am committing to be disciplined about focusing only on these things instead of getting distracted by shiny things on the Internet.

• FAMILY - kid-wrangling, being wifely (whatever that means), doing *fun* stuff together
• HOME - finish unpacking after the remodel, laundry, dishes, keeping the filth and clutter down
• CRAFT - work on my scrapbooks, and continue making them for others via The Papercraft Lab
• SELF-CARE - exercise, eat well, cook at home, sleep enough
• WORK - yep!  Starting a part-time contract gig next week

Work was a new addition to the list and actually triggered the re-evaluation of my commitments.  I am setting up shop as an independent consultant project manager (sounds so much fancier than it is!) and have a couple of clients for a total of about 20 hours a week.

Our new business covers my PM work and TJ's motorsports mobile app development.  Here's the fancy new logo I got on Etsy.  Pretty cool, huh?  I have to say that as a papercrafter and lover of stationery, I was especially excited about choosing a logo.

Here are some of the things I am completing or quitting to "find" 20 hours a week for this work:

• Completed Coursera Creative Problem Solving class online, which completes my credits needed for renewing my PMP certification for 3 more years.
• Completed two scrapbooks for Papercraft Lab clients
• Un-enrolled from two other Coursera courses that "sounded interesting"
• Declined the role of coordinating summer playdates for our toddler group
• Stopped taking custom metal orders in my Etsy shop (still selling ready-made items!)
• Facebook (I may need to detox gradually - I've already removed it from my phone. SO hard.)
• Quit trying to be "social coordinator" and making new friends - need to focus on my existing ones!
• Buying the snack for T's preschool at Trader Joe's instead of baking it
• Stopped watching TV (no more Glee, Grey's Anatomy, The Mindy Project, etc.)
• Finishing a scrapbook layout that will be used as a "demo" in an upcoming class
• Decided not to enroll the girls in additional classes this summer other than Little Gym
• Blogging. I haven't been motivated to write much here, so I'm taking a break for a while

In addition to going through my existing activities with a fine-toothed comb, I'm trying to be VERY selective about what I take on. I have a tendency to add projects on a whim, or volunteer for stuff when asked, so this is going to be a significant mindset change.  Wish me luck! 

If you read Essentialism, I'd love to know what you thought.

Getting rid of the F word in kids' books

And now you're thinking, "what kind of books is she reading to her kids?!"

One of the common themes in kids' books is words that are opposites. We have at least 3 books that tackle this topic: Boynton's Opposites, the most excellent Hippo Opposites by Janik Coat, and parts of I'll Teach My Dog A Lot of Words by Frith.

In I'll Teach My Dog A Lot of Words, there's a comparison that bugs the crap out of me. Fat and Thin. The illustration is with animals and it's not making a value judgment, but it still bothers me. First, as anyone with a toddler or preschooler knows, they are way into classifying things in their environment.

They also have no filter, especially when in public. Like the time T pointed out "Mama, look at that brown baby eating a banana!" very loudly while we were in Trader Joe's.  Not offensive, of course, just a little uncomfortable when everyone can hear.

So back to the books. I don't really need "fat" in my preschooler's vocabulary. I can't think of one situation where it's ok to apply that word to a person and I sure as heck DO NOT want them using it to describe themselves.

There are plenty of other words to describe *things* that weigh a lot or look big - heavy, fluffy, large, etc.  Boynton and Coat both get it - they use heavy/light and show animals on a see-saw or in a hot air balloon/under water to illustrate this.

And no doubt, preschoolers raised on these books will likely find some other way to comment on people's size, like big or heavy, and they still need to learn that it's not appropriate to comment on strangers' appearances (unless directly giving them a compliment, of course).

But I think getting rid of "fat" would go a long way. Language matters.

The Zebra Said Shhh: A New Kids' Book

I've been reading the Wandering Scientist's blog for the past few years, ever since coming across her insightful comments on AskMoxie. She likes to protect her identity so she blogs anonymously. Something she wrote in an older post made me think we had crossed paths at one point, so I emailed her through her blog to ask about it.

And in that way that the Internet is a small world, it turns out we did cross paths and I remember meeting her. Funny how that happens.

In addition to writing her blog, working full time as a project manager and raising 2 kids, she's written a children's book called The Zebra Said Shhh. It's a story she's told her daughter for years, and it's now available both in electronic form and in paperback on Amazon. How cool is that?!

It's a cute story - the zebra is tired and wants to sleep, but all the other animals in the zoo are awake and milling about, doing their animal things. It's got lovely illustrations, done by Tamia Sheldon, and I love the predictable structure of the book as it goes through each of the animals twice - once to talk about what they were doing when they weren't tired, and once to show they were all sleeping. Perfect for toddlers!

The level of this book is also perfect for me to read to both of the girls together (5 months and 3.5yo) - not too long and wordy for the baby to sit still, yet not too basic for my preschooler.

I can't call this an official book review, since I haven't yet read it to T. My Kindle is old and doesn't have a color screen, and that wouldn't do this lovely book justice.  Once we get the paperback version,  I know she'll love it because we often have conversations about different zoo animals and what they say, where they live, and what they look like. 

Thanks to Cloud and Xist Publishing for giving me the opportunity to read this book, and congratulations again to Cloud for this cool accomplishment!

Book Love: Lemonade in Winter

TJ was out of town all week for orientation for his *new job*.  (More on that later.)  So I got lots of quality time with my Big Girl T.

We've been reading one of her newer books a lot lately and both of us love it, so I thought I'd rave about it here.  It's Lemonade in Winter: A Book About Two Kids Counting Money by Emily Jenkins and G. Brian Karas.

I first saw it on my hunt for decent wrapping paper for Christmas after being frustrated while wrapping my Book Advent packages.  When I realized that ordering nice wrapping paper online was going to cost me as much in shipping as for the paper itself, I decided to shop locally.

We have a store in Redmond called Packaging Specialties.  It's tucked away in a strip mall, and sells, as you might imagine, boxes and bags and stuff.  It's not a cute boutiquey store - it looks very utilitarian from the outside, and for years I never had a reason to go there.

I needed some food-safe favor bags for T's 2nd birthday party and someone suggested this shop, so I went in, and was amazed at their selection. A lot of their business is targeted towards weddings and food packaging, but they also have gorgeous paper, gift wrap and ribbon.  They also have a small selection of cute hip gift items like those Kikkerland shaped paper clips, craft books, and boxed cards.

Around Christmas they had a display with a few winter and holiday themed kids' books, and since I was looking to add to my collection for Book Advent, my interest was piqued.  I fell in love with Lemonade in Winter as soon as I saw it.

First, as you may have noticed, the little kids in the picture have brown skin and black hair.  Like me!  It's actually harder to find than I expected in picture books for preschoolers.  The baby board books mostly didn't have people in them, or they had photos of all kinds of babies, so we were covered there.

Even better, it tackled a subject I haven't seen in picture books yet - counting money.  T has a piggy bank, and we give her quarters occasionally for doing her "chores", like putting away the silverware or her laundry.  But she doesn't really "get" the money system, or what the different coins mean.  Which is fine, since she's only 3.  I love that we now have a way to start introducing it, especially now that she can count up to 30 or so reliably.

It's really nicely written, with a good rhythm for reading aloud.  There are a couple of cute songs and chants in it, and some poetic wording about the cold and wind.  Pauline and John-John are a brother and sister who decide to host an urban lemonade stand in the dead of winter.  The cast of characters (ie their customers) is varied - a single guy walking his dogs, a young (mixed race!) couple, a mama with twins and 5 manicurists from the nail salon across the street.

It also introduces very simple concepts for running a business - advertising, sales, entertainment, and eventually the concept of profit vs loss.  Some of those concepts may be better for the older kids in the age range, which is supposed to be 3-7 years old.  But T is already picking up on some of them, as we talked about what it means to be "on sale".

Not to mention, she has picked up the phrase "easy peasy lemon squeezy" to use conversationally.  I love that so much more than the things she picks up from watching Cars or Dora, that's for sure.

Like Owl Babies, it's one of those really interesting, well-written, unique picture books that I don't mind reading over and over again, which is just the way my preschooler likes it.  This one will be perfect for our Book Advent next year!

A Good American: BlogHer Book Club Review

As the daughter of immigrants, I've always been a sucker for fiction about US immigrants.  I was pretty excited to get the chance to review Alex George's historical fiction novel, A Good American.

It started out great, with the storyline focusing on two people coming to the US for the first time in 1903. I don't know much about German immigration to the US so it was a fascinating read.  The first half of the book was fantastic and I read it in a day (again while nursing The Baby).

But right around the time one of the main characters died, so did my enthusiasm for this book. I had to force myself to finish it. It wasn't *bad*, but I just didn't care as much about the huge cast of not-as-well-developed characters that followed after the original couple had been drawn so carefully.  The latter half of the book jumped across several storylines which made it hard to really get absorbed in any one.

The author foreshadowed a future event in the last sentence of most chapters. At first it was charming, but it soon became annoying and distracting (just tell me, already!).

As far as historical fiction family novels go, there was a LOT of action and drama. Lots of dying, and dramatic leave-takings.  It was too much, like one of those movies that's several car chases interspersed with a tiny bit of plot.

The first half was good enough that I think it's worth a read, but I wouldn't displace any books on your must-read pile for it.

I was compensated for this review by BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

Here I Go Again: BlogHer Book Club Review

When I read the summary of Here I Go Again by Jen Lancaster, I knew it would be a "fluffy" book so I went into it with the appropriate expectations.  

I finished it in a couple of days, only reading while I was nursing BabyM.  It's not the kind of book that requires intense concentration, and the story line was simple and fairly predictable.

This wasn't one of my favorite BlogHer Book Club books. I'm not a fan of time travel books in general, but this one also lacked substance and originality.  The writing was competent with a few funny lines, but not remarkable.  I couldn't drum up any sympathy for Lissy, the "queen bee" main character, even after her 'amazing transformation' at the end.

The 80s heavy metal references made it more likeable since that was the music of my teenage years and like Lissy, I lamented the transition to the grunge era in the 90s.  There were tons of current pop culture references sprinkled throughout the book, which was amusing now but in a year or two will seem terribly dated (or just confusing).  The funniest parts were the texting conversations between Lissy and Deva, but clearly those were inspired by Damn You Autocorrect.

I love a happy ending, but this one was way too neat and tidy for my liking. Reading this book was like eating a Twinkie - tastes okay while you're eating it, but you quickly regret its sugary fakeness when it's over.

Nearly all my friends lament their lack of reading time.  I definitely would not recommend this book as there are better candidates out there, even in the "chick lit" genre.

I was compensated for this review by BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

Personal Performance Review and Goal Setting

My Type A, project manager self loves, loves, loves the idea of doing a personal performance review at the end of the year, and setting goals for the new year.  A few years ago, my friend G pointed me to Chris Guillebeau's post on conducting an annual review. (Gotta love Facebook!)

Every year, I vow to do this and have downloaded his Excel template several times, and just haven't ever gotten around to completing it.  Partly because December is a busy month, especially if I'm taking custom orders in my Etsy shop.  And on the heels of that is January, which is my small business tax month, where I have to reconcile all my money in and out and pay my state sales tax collected.  On the bright side that means I don't need to do anything else for April and our regular income tax.

Anyway, back to goal setting. I never seemed to get it together to do it well. I always have a half-hearted "lose weight" goal, and maybe a vague "spend less money" one, but by June I've eaten my weight in pie and have stuffed seventeen more boxes of scrapbooking supplies into my craft room. First world problems, I know.

But this year, I think it's going to be different.  I've had an entire year to absorb the magic of the Mondo Beyondo class I took, and realized that writing down my dreams and thinking about them actually has made many of them materialize. (cue Twilight Zone music here)

I thought about taking it again - there's a session that starts on Monday.  

But I have a habit of signing up for lots of online classes (ooh shiny!) and not following through.  I am currently signed up for a Project Life class at Studio Calico, and have yet to do more than download the class materials.

This year would be perfect for me to get off to a roaring start on that weight loss goal.  I'm currently on maternity leave, which means I have some time to plan my meals and cook. I'm breastfeeding, so I've got that extra calorie burning boost. I'm no longer getting paid, so it would behoove me to eat more simply, and at home anyway. I know that the Paleo diet works well for me so I don't even need to "experiment".

But the other goals?  Still kind of fuzzy for me.  I was looking around for some way to structure my "personal performance review" and do some detailed goal setting for 2013.  Like you know, actually writing stuff down. Having a plan. Not having too many things to focus on at once.

And thanks to AskMoxie, I read about this amazing planning workbook thingy called Creating Your Incredible Year 2013.  It's a PDF download for less than $10 and has close to 100 pages in it.  As a crafty person, I love the hand-drawn pages and all the sparkly bits  in the drawings.  

Yes, it's definitely geared towards women, and yes, it looks totally fluffy and hippie. But the cool thing is the content - it's solid and asks the right leading questions to get me to my goals and more importantly, HOW I'm going to achieve them.  Leonie Dawson, the gal who created this tool, calls herself a "hippy who gets shit done."  I can get behind that!

  

Here's a peek at some of the pages (click image to see a larger version):

It starts with a review of 2012 and then moves into the 2013 planning.  It's very detailed and long.  I've had it for a few days and have completed about 10-12 pages so far.

The best part is that it's something I can do on my own time, and in bits and pieces, which is about the only kind of time I have these days.  I just printed it at home on the "toner saving" setting and it looks great.  I'll either bind it myself with my nifty binding tool, or stick it in a binder.

I got the Life version and am debating also downloading the Business one for my crafty stuff.  But I wanted to complete one first.  I've recommended it to a few friends and would love to find other folks I know who are interested in working on it together!

If you click on my link, I'll get a tiny bonus for referring you. But like my other reviews, I'm honest about what I like. I definitely dig this and am looking forward to completing it! Let me know if you end up getting it too!

What the Most Successful People Do on the Weekend: Book Review

You already know I'm a huge fan of Laura Vanderkam's books on time management. I was lucky enough to receive an advance copy of her new e-book, What the Most Successful People Do on the Weekend: A Short Guide to Making the Most of Your Days Off.

It was a short, easy, and useful book, which I read on my smartphone over the course of a few sessions nursing BabyM.  Don't be put off by the title - this isn't about becoming a CEO and aspiring to some crazy life where you sleep in 15 minute chunks to maximize your working time.

It's got an interesting premise - in order to have a relaxing weekend, you have to put some effort into planning things. I would have disagreed with this before kids, but now with an infant and a preschooler, it's imperative that we structure our (weekend) days. (Right now, technically every day is a weekend for us, until  T's preschool starts again.) When we don't, it seems that we waste time and/or get on each others' nerves, and before we know it, we're in the thick of the dinner-bedtime routine and another day has passed without much to show for it.

Vanderkam calls these activities "meaningless somethings" which captures it spot-on - halfheartedly doing laundry or dishes, the endless stream of putting things away and preparing/cleaning up meals, or grabbing some empty Internet time while the baby sleeps or the preschooler is playing by herself.

The book has lots of great suggestions for planning a weekend that's both fun and productive. One thing we do already is planning a few "anchor events" for each weekend. Our family threshold for feeling overscheduled is pretty low, so we typically have 1-2 events planned for a weekend, but others could plan something for all the mornings, afternoons and evenings from Friday night through Sunday night and still have plenty of time to do the other things that *need* to get done.

One tip I really want to try is having dedicated time for planning the week ahead. I used to do this pre-kids but got out of the habit with our new crazy schedule.  I think it would be awesome to do this with TJ, or also with T, just like we did with our Holiday Fun List.

Vanderkam's writing itself is great - clean and efficient, while still making what could be a very dry topic interesting.  She interviews a wide range of people for real-life examples and all are relatable in *some* way.

When I read particularly good fiction, I often highlight quotes that I love. I don't expect to do this with a non-fiction book, so I was totally caught by surprise reading the last chapter.  Rather than giving more concrete tips and suggestions, it focuses on the fact that our weekends are finite, our children are only little once, and how holidays should be filled with memory-making activities.

This part made me tear up a little: "September brings a melancholy sense of time passing, as my oldest child is off to kindergarten, the three-year-old starts preschool, and even the baby turns daily into a little girl who laughs and stumbles toward her first steps. In the photos from last Labor Day she was simply a very round belly. Now we've gotten to know the sweet, toddling child once contained in that roundness."  Sniff.  Lovely.

I wholeheartedly recommend this book, and the price is right at only $3 - less than one Starbucks drink. It's short enough that you can read it before the first weekend in 2013.  Let me know what you think!  Enjoy, and happy weekends to you!

Book Advent: New Family Holiday Tradition

I first read about the idea of a "book advent" Christmas countdown on Ali Edwards' blog earlier this year. I've always loved books and reading so I wanted to do this in our family, too. Then I promptly forgot about it until I saw Susan Weinroth post about it on Instagram a few days ago.  I needed details, and she put them on her blog.

It's easy - find 25 books and wrap them. Each night in December, through Christmas Day, you unwrap and read one (and maybe re-read some of the others). From what I can tell most people try to choose all holiday books, and build up their collection over time, filling in with library books in the meantime.  You definitely don't need to go out and buy 25 new books, though that sure would be fun, wouldn't it?

As soon as I read her post, I knew we had to do this.  I love the idea of an Advent calendar to build up the excitement of the holidays and have little tiny surprises to look forward to each day. However, I didn't want one full of candy, and the Lego ones seem overpriced for what you get.  We have tons of ornaments for our Christmas tree already, so adding 25 new ones didn't seem like a good idea either. The book idea is perfect.

I don't think we need 25 books about Christmas since we're not Christian, so I broadened the list to also include other winter holidays and winter itself, books about reading, books about giving and love, and a few family favorites.

The First 3: numbered, and with little hints/notes about each one.

I also had a few books set aside for T because she wasn't ready for them, so I've included those.  I know she'll love opening them, and she's really into counting right now, so tonight she was already looking for the book with the "1" on it, so she'd know where to start.

I combed through our books over the last few days and put the ones I wanted to use in a box in our closet.  I had to sneak some out of T's room when she was at preschool.  Three year olds ask a lot of questions. 

I chose two different rolls of gift wrap to make it look more interesting - one with cute winter birds and the other just a plain silver. Today I started wrapping, and man, was it slow.  I'm bad at gift wrapping, and sadly, the paper is cheap and tears really easily.  I've made a solemn resolution to no longer buy cheap Target gift wrap. Only the good stuff from now on. It's just too frustrating otherwise.

Gift wrapping and adhering the number tags is a great use for washi tape, since I have so much of it.  The patterned tape looks great on plain gift wrap, too. 

I have a ridiculous collection of number stickers so I used those for the number tags on each gift.  Of course, I don't have enough of any one sticker type to do all the numbers, so they'll be delightfully mismatched. It's what snooty people call "eclectic", right? 

I got 13 of them done while both girls napped today (omg! at the same time even!).  I'm waiting for Olive the Other Reindeer from Amazon, and need to order a second book, because I want the books on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day to be new. I'll finish the rest this week.

Book Number One is one of my favorites, Owl Babies.  My plan is to have us all sit together in the living room, or in T's room before bed, and read. We need to start reading more to BabyM anyway, and I like the idea of us all snuggling together to read.

If you have recos for strong pretty gift wrap, please leave it in the comments.  The Target stuff is not working.  I also could use a recommendation for a great kid's book that's non-holiday related, suitable for preschoolers.  Something not well known would be great as we have most of the classics and popular ones. Thanks in advance!

BlogHer Book Club Review: My Life Map

I was really excited when I got the opportunity to review My Life Map by Kate and David Marshall. The timing was right since I'm on maternity leave and the sleep situation is not so bad. Being on leave for so long is also a great time to think about long-term planning. And you know I'm a planner.

After taking the Mondo Beyondo class last year, I'm a fan of doing introspective "work" and thinking about what I want out of life, instead of just floating through it trying to get to the next day. Admittedly, as a new 2-kid family, there are days where we're just trying to keep everyone happy, clean, and fed, but not so many that I can't keep an eye towards the future and the life I *want*.

This book is a guided journal to help you draw a detailed timeline of your life: past, present and most importantly, the future. It's structured very well to ease you into big goal-setting.  I had a hard time getting started because it seemed too "big", but the questions are actually very directed and "bite sized".  I love that it starts with the past and present, which are easy to map, since they are fact-based.  This is a stepping stone to planning the future, and there are lots of exercises and questions to guide you.

What I especially love is the way they've structured the Maps -  you do a "Whole Life" map first, and then a 10-Year Map, then individual "subject" ones for work, family, friends, play, learning, and service.  It's all open to your interpretation, and you can do them in the order that makes sense.  In fact, the authors suggest different ordering based on your particular outlook - whether you're a top-down or bottom-up thinker.

The authors' website has electronic copies of the Life Map form in several formats, which is very handy, especially if you intend to do this exercise more than once, which they recommend as you go through different stages in life.

My minor quibbles are about the physical book itself - I wish it was spiral-bound to make it easier to leave open when filling out the questions and making notes, and the hardcover binding gives me a bit of a mental block about writing in it, because it seems "too nice" to write in.  I also would have loved an e-copy of the questions themselves, so that I could print copies and write on those, rather than in the nice book itself.

But I do think this is a great (and inexpensive!) tool for anyone considering their long term goals in all areas of their lives. It's the sort of thing that gives back as much as you're willing to put into it, and can be worked through over a period of many weeks or months.

So if you don't know what you want to be when you grow up, or are facing a transition period in your life,  give this a try!

I was compensated for this review by BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are totally my own.

The Chaperone: BlogHer Book Club Review

I almost didn't sign up to review The Chaperone by Laura Moriarty, and that would have been a shame.  When I read the synopsis, it totally wasn't my kind of thing - historical fiction, set in 1920s New York (mostly).  But then I realized that the Book Club as yet hasn't steered me wrong - there has not been a single book that I disliked or felt was totally not worth the time.

So I took a chance and started reading this one on my Kindle.  The formatting had some quirks around chapter headings but nothing too distracting, and the story and characters were so compelling I finished this in less than a week.  

The main character is Cora, a married woman in Kansas who agrees to chaperone a teenager who will attend dance classes in New York for a summer.   The story held so many surprises, none of which I saw coming, though I bet on second reading the author alludes to some of them beforehand.  I love that in a book - each time I thought "OMG!" and had to keep reading.

There's a part towards the end where Cora takes a huge bold step towards arranging her life the way *she* wants it, after living under societal constraints for so long.  I loved it - it was unconventional and surprising.  It was one of those things where I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it never did.   I liked that subtle message of "you can get the life you want, and you don't have to worry it's all going to come crashing down any minute now".

This was definitely a novel with great attention to historical details about how people lived their lives in the 20s, but it also managed to make the characters timeless and relatable in the current day, which is rare.  I'm glad to have this one on my Kindle to revisit later and I definitely recommend it if you're looking for a good novel to get lost in.
I'd love to hear from anyone else who's read it!
I was compensated for this review by BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are totally my own.

What Alice Forgot: BlogHer Book Club Review

The last fiction book I read was What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty.  It was a fun, light  read, perfect for lazy summer days. What drew me to it was the interesting premise - after an accident, a woman loses 10 years of memories and has to go through her daily life without them, and figure out who she is and how she relates to the people around her.

It sounds grim but was actually quite funny and easy to read.  It's set in Australia, but could be anywhere really.  Alice figures out that she had turned into a not-so-nice person over the 10 years she "lost", and starts to rebuild her relationships with her sister, children, and husband.

The characters are familiar and likeable, for the most part.  The most interesting to me was her sister Elizabeth, who narrates part of the book in first person, and details her struggle with infertility, in a very convincing way.  Moriarty definitely got that part right.

For the first half I was impatiently holding my breath, waiting for Alice's memories to return and it hindered my enjoyment of the book.  Somewhere in there, I just let go of that idea and accepted her state for what it was, and then it got much easier and more pleasant to read.   I will admit I was a bit disappointed when she did get her memories back as I quite liked the "new Alice".

Like most "chick lit" books, everything ends well, which was just fine with me. I love a satisfying happy ending with all loose ends neatly tied up.   It took me just a few days to read the whole thing.

This book overall was good, but not great.  I probably won't keep it to re-read but don't feel like it was time wasted, either.  It's nice and meaty at around 400 pages so if you're looking for a vacation book, it's a worthwhile read.

I was compensated for this review by BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are totally my own.

The Artist's Way Toolkit: BlogHer Review

I was super-excited to see the request to review Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way Toolkit.  It's a book I've wanted to read for a while, so getting access to the online version for free sounded like an awesome deal.

You can use the website without having read the book - there's enough introductory material there to explain the background.  The Artist's Way is a series of exercises to lead you to more creative thinking and inspiration, and to get you past anything blocking you from being creatively awesome.  It's not just for visual artists - it's for writers, crafters and all manner of creative thinkers and doers. 

One of the core practices she asks you to adopt is doing "morning pages" - three pages of stream-of-consciousness journal writing in the morning.  She insists you must do this by hand, rather than typing, which is my style anyway.  This is something I'll keep doing for a long time - I haven't yet made it part of the daily routine, but I do it more days than not.  It's quite surprising what it yields - it clears my brain of any nagging items, lets me capture random creative ideas that I didn't know I had, as well as more concrete to-dos for the coming days.  It's been easy and fun, and a good way to start the day.

The Toolkit has other components - a daily affirmation, which is not really my thing, but had some good quotes (most of them by Cameron herself).  There was also an audio component called "Creative Soundbites" which was a little woo-woo for me - cheesy New Age music with people talking about metaphysical concepts.  I didn't get much out of that.

The part I loved was the weekly "Artist's Date".  It's an assignment to go and do an activity on your own, to stimulate creativity, and they've been fun ones - take a walk through a (safe) part of your town you've never explored, buy candy you enjoyed in your childhood and eat it, visit a funky thrift store, etc.  Fun little tasks you can then write about or capture ideas from.

The Artist's Way Exercises were another core practice, and one I couldn't get into, but still want to attempt.  They're hard questions where you have to analyze blockers to your creativity, or come up with new ideas.  They're meant to make you think and really dig deep inside yourself for good answers.  I'm feeling a little stressed and busy these days so just couldn't make the time to sit down and focus on these as much as I should.  It would be awesome work for someone who intends to make a career out of their creative pursuits, though.

What I would have liked more was a choice of activities for the Artist's Date or the Exercises - ie, if you don't like the current one, you should be able to skip to a new one.  But the online version has the same one up for a week, so you have to wait and log in to get a new one the following week.

The site is set up like a "notebook", which starts with a "contract" to commit to the practice of morning pages and doing this work.  That was a nice touch to get some commitment from the users.  You can write up your experiences from the Artist's Dates and Artist's Way Exercises in that "notebook" and save them online.  In addition, there are some more blank sections for other creative notes and you can export your work.

For things like this, I'm more a pen-and-paper kind of girl, so I didn't make use of these sections.  I'd rather have hardcopy notes in front of me.

There's a mobile app for Apple devices, but not Android or Windows Phone, sadly.  The material is supposed to be "spiritual" and thus mentions God a lot, but is not focused on a specific religion.  I'd have liked it better if it didn't mention God altogether, but I think that is a core part of the original Artist's Way and I can respect that.

I'd definitely recommend this toolkit for folks looking for some new and different ways to spark their creativity, *especially* if you're trying to support yourself as an artist or writer.  It's great for those who are surgically attached to their laptop or iPad. 

Have you read The Artist's Way?  What did you think?

I was compensated for this review by BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are totally my own.

All the Money in the World: Book Review

Laura Vanderkam was nice enough to provide me with a copy of her book, All the Money in the World: What the Happiest People Know About Getting and Spending.  I devoured it in a few hours which is pretty remarkable because I am really not into reading personal finance books.  Her writing is crisp and clear and the examples and stories were again relevant and useful, like in her previous book, 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think.

What I liked about this book was that it was far more about the *philosophy of money* and what it could do for you, more than tactical tips about budgeting or doing crazy frugal things like washing out Ziploc bags for reuse (which she does talk about but in a different context.)

This book wasn't quite as useful to me as 168 Hours, simply because as a family we are on top of our finances, thanks to my fabulous hubby who actually likes that sort of thing.   But it was an enjoyable read, and the exercises at the end were useful to clarify priorities in life, which can then inform how we choose to spend our money. 

There were some really interesting ideas in there, too.  One was creating the "perfect weekend" full of fun things to do.  It was couched in terms of cost, and how "perfect" doesn't automatically mean expensive, but that section resonated with me more on the time management/planning side than the financial side.  We often fritter away our weekends doing non-essential stuff, and not planning ahead, and on Sunday night we mourn that we didn't *do* anything with our weekend.  This approach means planning activities ahead - not a wall-to-wall packed hourly schedule, but just a couple of activities each day, but still being able to adjust on the fly.  I'm intrigued by the idea and will definitely do this in the future - more to maximize happiness than to minimize my spending.

Another idea that resonated with me was her view that finding work you really, truly enjoy means you're not just slogging it out until thankfully it's time to retire and play golf all day.  That in fact, if you like your work, you might want to consider doing it *past* retirement age, and then continue to earn more.  I interpreted this to mean that we also don't have to postpone our "big dreams" until we retire and have all that supposed free time - that we can pursue them now, and keep working at the same time.  Or take breaks from working to pursue them and then go back.

I love her writing because she has opinions and I get a sense of the author's personality, unlike a lot of nonfiction which reads like college term papers, dry and lacking any personal insight.  But that quality also made it frustrating to read at times - there were several points in the book where I flat out disagreed with her statements.

For example, in the chapter about how having more kids isn't necessarily a huge financial burden, she posits that it might not be necessary for parents to pay for their kids' college, and that private college tuition may not be "worth it".   In some cases that may be true, and if your child is brilliant, they'll figure out a way to get a stellar education even with no college. 

But for students like me who were smart but not super-extroverted "go-getters", going to a small private university where I was guaranteed personal attention was exactly what I needed.  Quite simply I would have gotten lost in the shuffle at a huge state school and just coasted my way through as I did in my entire school career prior to that.  For us, the cost of college (and potentially private school before that) is a huge financial consideration and given that we have the means to pay for college for our kids (if we're careful about our resources), it would be irresponsible of us not to plan for that.

The other chapter that didn't ring true for me was the one on charitable giving and the "selfish joy" it brings to people.  I found the examples fascinating, but I just couldn't relate to the idea of getting personal satisfaction or pleasure out of giving to charity.  Don't get me wrong, we write lots of checks to organizations we support and I try to research them to find ones that use the money wisely, but by and large I do it because it's just the right thing to do, not because it makes me feel good.  I feel neutral about it - I see it as one of those things you do as part of a community, especially as someone who has a lot of blessings in her life.  Perhaps that means I'm an unfeeling person.


In this book she definitely toned down her "everyone should do paid work full time" message, for which I was grateful (it was a consistent frustration for me in 168 Hours).  


I loved the chapters where she talked about buying less house than you can afford (or the bank thinks you can afford), as well as scaling back the expenses related to the Engagement-Wedding Industrial Complex.   This would be a great book for someone in their 20s just starting out in the "real world".


I definitely recommend reading it- even if you're super-responsible with your money, you'll likely come away with some new ideas after reading it.  It's more about figuring out your overall life priorities than the nuts and bolts of personal finance, and that kind of introspection is good for everyone, right?

The Submission - Book Review

I finished The Submission by Amy Waldman last night. It took me a couple of weeks to get through it, not because I didn't like it, but because it was emotionally hard to read.  Which probably means it was well-written. 

I can't recommend it in a "you'll love it!" sort of way, but it's the sort of book that I'm glad I read and will stick with me for a long time.

I first saw a review on Sepia Mutiny, the Indian-American blog I used to read occasionally.  It was not a flattering one, so I didn't add the book to my must-read list, given that reading time is scarce these days.

A few weeks ago, I heard the author being interviewed on KUOW, our local public radio station, and found out the book had been chosen for the "Seattle Reads" program, which seems to be some kind of city-wide book club thing.  The interview was interesting and unfortunately I got to work before it ended, but I liked her description of her characters and figured I'd give this book a shot.

I bought it for my Kindle that night and read the first few chapters quickly.  The writing is straightforward and there are a lot of characters.  It's about a (fictitious) contest to design a memorial for 9/11 victims and has several related storylines.

What kept me reading, and what also made it hard for me to read, was the main character, Mohammed Khan, an American architect of Indian ancestry whose "Americanness" is questioned through the entire novel.  As someone with a similar background (albeit not Muslim), it was really hard to read about the racist attitudes towards him, even though this was a work of fiction and of course I'm not unaware of real-life people who think I and people like Mohammed aren't "real Americans".

There were almost too many characters and storylines, and I wanted more depth about some of them, like Khan and Asma Haque.  There were a few characters I just didn't care too much about and they had whole chapters devoted to them.  But altogether it was woven together well though the ending left me sort of... empty.  I just wasn't sure what to do with it.  But I'm a person who likes all the loose ends tied up, and with this story it was never going to happen.

This is the sort of book I wish we had read and discussed in an English lit course - modern subject matter, with interesting themes about the society we live in.  Way better than incomprehensible Faulkner (and I've had to read more than one of his books!) and so-old-I-couldn't-care-less The Scarlet Letter.  Blasphemy, I know.

So if you're looking for something to feed your brain a little, this is a good choice.  Definitely not summer beach reading, though, unless you like to use your brain for that!

Tuesday Lovin': Owl Babies Book

Cloud had a post last week about souvenirs from trips, so I thought I'd write about my favorite purchase on our recent trip to Ireland.  We made a conscious decision not to buy random souvenirs, so all we bought was one Christmas ornament (a miniature watercolor of the pub we liked to go to), a pair of lovely handknit wool socks for me, and a book for Trillian called Owl Babies.

I forgot to pack a selection of books for T to read while we were at the vacation house.  I had a few specifically for the plane rides, but they were activity books rather than stories.  So we headed out to the teeny tiny bookstore in Kenmare.

We spotted Owl Babies right away thanks to its gorgeous illustrations.  I'm usually a fan of more cartoony-style kids books, but the artwork on the cover was really striking and T quickly latched on to it.

We took it home and read it for bedtime that night, and many nights thereafter.  It's such a sweet story - three baby owl siblings wake up to find their mama is gone, and they worry together until her return.  The text is simple and repetitive, perfect for toddlers. 

I worried that it might be too much for my sensitive girl - she cries when book characters get into difficult situations or make scary faces - we still haven't made it through Slide Already! because of the faces.  But the tension is resolved in this book fairly quickly so she's ok with it.

In fact, T had memorized nearly all of it by the time we left Ireland, so I entertained myself by letting her "read" most of it to me - I'd supply the first few words on the page and let her recite the rest.  OMG the cuteness - I should have recorded it.  Now that we're home and there are more books in the rotation, I think she's forgotten a lot of it.

I wasn't sure if there was an Ireland connection here, but it turns out the author Martin Waddell is from Northern Ireland, so it really is a souvenir in the traditional sense!

If you're looking for a baby or toddler gift and don't want to give the old standbys for fear of duplicates, this is a great choice.  Or, if you need a good, mellow bedtime story for your own owl babies, I recommend it as well!

My only regret is that she doesn't let me read it to her as often as I'd like.  She's probably sick of hearing it every night.  Next time I'll remember to pack more books for her!

One mama's feminist rant

I don't often blog about the larger issues of racism or sexism in our culture.  I know they're out there, and they just make me angry.  I'm not a "get out and join the cause" kind of person - it's just not a priority for me right now.

But I HATE when I pay money to bring this crap into my house.  It doesn't happen very often. 

The first time was when I bought The Chronic by Dr. Dre on CD back in the 90s.  I knew I was hearing the "clean" versions on the radio, but figured they were just bleeping out the swearing.  Turns out, it was a lot worse than that.  The lyrics were horrible - way more misogynistic than they seemed on the radio, degrading, demeaning, all that.  I was so offended, I had to give it away (and I'm not easily offended!)


It happened again recently, though on a much less offensive scale.  I was stocking up on new books for T for our plane trips to and from Ireland.   I found one called My Plane Trip by Cathy Beylon - it was both a storybook and a coloring book and even better was eligible for Amazon's 4-for-3 promo.

We read it, and T liked it.  It's about a family of four who takes a plane trip and it goes through the details of getting packed, going to the airport, completing the security checks, the flight itself, and getting to the destination.

But upon reading it a few more times, I started noticing things that irritated me.  Mom plays a very minor role here.  You can see her packing, but all the text mentions Dad putting the luggage in the car, Dad drives them to the airport, Dad gets them checked in, Dad consults the monitor for the flight info, Dad stows the baggage,  Dad collects the baggage.  The only thing Mom does in the text is help the baby get ready for a nap.

Of course, both the pilot and co-pilot are male, as are the air traffic controllers. The flight attendants are female.  TJ pointed out that everyone is white, or at least seems to be from the hair, features, and the few color pictures (it's a coloring book).

It irks me a little that both kids in the family are boys - I mean, little girls go on plane trips too  - it would have been nice to make one of the main characters female.  And the author is a woman.  Sigh.

I know this seems minor, but it's something I think about a little harder with a daughter, who has already started telling me that "only men do x", where x is something that can be done by either gender.  It's not like we have 10 books about plane trips and this is just one, so issues like this seem magnified.


Problem is, we can't screen *every* piece of media before buying it - our local bookstores don't have much of a kids' selection so we take our chances with what we order online. 



I spent my entire childhood being essentially "invisible" on TV, books, magazines, etc because there just weren't any Indian-American characters anywhere.  So maybe I'm more sensitive to this kind of thing. 

I just wish there was an easy way to preview these things before dropping cash on them.  Has this happened to you before?

168 Hours: Time Management Book Review

I recently finished reading 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think by Laura Vanderkam, and I LOVED it.  It's the book I wish I had written, but also made me realize I probably will never be a serious author because I don't have the desire to spend THAT MUCH TIME researching and revising, which she clearly has done.  The writing is really good - tons of research, easy to read and flows smoothly.   I read this in a day, and I don't (can't) usually do this with nonfiction.

If you're into time management and productivity stuff, it's worth a read.  If you feel stressed out and like you never get to do the things you want, this book is for you.

The concept of a week being 168 hours isn't revolutionary, but I admit I never thought about it like that.  I've kept a few days' worth of time diaries, but never a whole week.  (I'll do this when we return from vacation.)

Her advice is to keep a time diary for a week, and then review it to see WHAT you're spending time on.  Likely there's a lot of low-priority stuff on there, and from that, you can make changes to mindfully spend time on what YOU think is important.

I love the reframing of "I'm too busy to do x" as "x is not a priority for me".  I don't think we use that enough in our daily lives.  We fill up our time with tasks that we *think* need to be done, but in the grand scheme of things, maybe not.  Or maybe not by us.

There are real-life examples of interesting (and relatable) people.  I will say that in many places it seems to target a certain upper middle class income range, which may be off-putting to some people.  But I liked that focus, because it spent a fair amount of time discussing how you can deploy your financial resources to help you "find" more time - sending out your laundry (which alas, I cannot find anyone to do in my town), hiring housecleaners or a personal chef, etc. 

One quibble I had with this book is the definite bias against parents who give up or significantly downshift their careers.   It came up in a few different places and made me a bit grumbly.  Yes, I totally agree with her when she says it's hard to have a capital-C Career if you work less than 30 hours a week. 

But she tends to brush off the idea that some people *want* that.  Her argument came across like she thinks the only reason people quit jobs or go part-time is because they want to spend more time with their kids, and then proceeds to point out that you can squeeze in 40-45 hours of work easily in a week and still have plenty of time for kids.

From a pure time perspective, yes, this is true.  But speaking from experience, there are other reasons people choose to reduce their career aspirations when they have kids.  In our case (and for many others I know) it's because we want to limit (or not use) hours of outside childcare.  I personally wanted to experience as much of my daughter's early years as I could- the good, the gross, and the boring.  I also wanted a life that *felt* more relaxed, hence my 2.5 day work week.  

Maybe this is turning into a bit of a "but what about me?" argument, but it bugged me repeatedly.  I've started reading her new book All the Money in the World, and I think there's a little more latitude there for people who might enjoy things like baking, keeping house, etc. as a pursuit in itself.

This is another book I'd like to keep around to get a 'refresher' when things feel like they're getting crazy or I'm losing sight of what's important.  I highly recommend it.  Go get it now!
:)

The Fault in Our Stars: BlogHer Book Club Review

I read The Fault in Our Stars by John Greene in one night. I couldn't stop reading it even though I was desperately tired and I had to work the next day. 

From the description, it's not a book I would have thought to pick up, so I'm glad it came my way through BlogHer. After the first few pages, I was hooked.

*This* was a book where I dogeared pages to return to good quotes. This was one of less than five books that I've EVER read that made me cry. Not just a couple of tears, but ugly, snuffling sobs for several pages at the end.  BUT it also made me laugh out loud in parts, which also doesn't happen often.  I love the balance of humor and complete tragedy in this book - that is really what made it unique.

Greene's writing is simple and beautiful, and somehow he captures the spirit of Hazel, the teenage girl narrating the story.  He's great at describing the character's physical characteristics so you can picture them very vividly. The dialogue is witty, and reminds me a lot of the movie Juno.  The parents are somewhat one-dimensional, but that seems appropriate considering that the main story is between the teenagers, and isn't that how teenagers think of the adults around them (when they bother at all, that is). 

Go read this book.  It's amazing.  I am so lucky to have gotten the review copy for free - this is one I'll keep in my collection to reread.

I was compensated for this review by BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are totally my own.

Diary of a Mad Fat Girl: BlogHer Book Club Review

Stephanie McAfee's Diary of a Mad Fat Girl is the 3rd BlogHer Book Club book I've read, and it was OK.  Another easy read, I finished it in a couple of days, but I felt like it lacked substance.

But honestly, I think it's not *trying* to be a deep, meaningful read.  It's the kind of book you'd read on an airplane or on vacation while sipping a fruity drink with an umbrella in it.  If you read it with that expectation, you won't be disappointed.

The "good" characters were likeable.  The "bad" characters had no redeeming qualities and were pretty cartoonish.  The author does a good job of sprinkling in Southern flavor throughout, to the point where you can feel the sticky humidity and taste the (overly) sweet tea while reading.

There were a few spots where I laughed out loud - the dialog between some of the characters is downright hilarious.  The plot is simple but full of "You go, girl!". 

I didn't feel like the main character's romance was very realistic, or maybe I'm just too far from the drama of my 20s to understand why she'd leave the guy she was living with because she saw him talking to another woman, rather than asking him about it first.

I could empathize with Ace's struggle with her weight, but it seemed to only manifest itself when it was convenient, unlike for example, Bridget Jones's Diary, where it was an undercurrent through the whole book that drove the actions of the main character.

But overall, Diary of a Mad Fat Girl was enjoyable.  I didn't have to force myself to finish it, and I was genuinely curious about how it ended.  

I was compensated for this review by BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are totally my own.