Dream Baby Dream - Monday Rock Star: INXS

The Monday show is hard to watch but fortunately it's only half and hour and it has that car-crash allure. Interestingly, they spend the first 5 minutes on a recap of the previous week narrated by the grating Brooke Burke, and another 15 on intro and commercials. So with TiVo by my side, it's quite bearable.

Are these guys really "friends" like they claim to be? They never saw each other before the show and they're in competition with each other for crying out loud! They pretend to be sad when people leave, but they must really be thinking "Yay - it wasn't me, suckah!"

Jessica the sorority girl is providing, like, a lot of like, deep thoughts on her fight to survive. That girl can sing, but boy does she not belong in a rock band. She seems like a slightly more badass version of Britney Spears down to the skimpy outfits and gyrating on stage. Maybe she can find her very own backup dancer to marry.

Marty gets a visit from his sister. Who cares?? He's such a dork.

Singing clinic - the guy worked with Axl Rose and Courtney Love. Um, they don't strike me as particularly good singers. Brandon reminds us he can't change his voice because he's 31, which is unfortunate because he can't sing as evidenced by his abysmal performance on "Tempted" last week. And dude said he has the widest range of the bunch?!! Apparently dude also says Deanna's voice is turning to vinegar because she's old. Bummer.

Song selection time. Ty and MiG (love the capital G) should be thrilled about "We Will Rock You" since they've both performed in different productions of that musical. JD is pulling his scheming crap again with Suzie and "The Letter" so he gets the song he wants - he makes my skin crawl. In an amazing flash of insight and drama, Jessica realizes people hate her. Ty doesn't want "Everlong" which blows my mind - it's the only Foo Fighters song that doesn't suck. He gets stuck with it but I think he can work his magic. Jessica is singing "Blister in the Sun" for like, HER LIFE, guys. During rehearsal, Brandon demonstrates that not only is his voice mediocre, but he has no rhythm either.

And what is with having a Nirvana song in the mix every week? Ugh. I realize I'm in the minority of people who don't think Nirvana was the best thing to happen to rock n roll, but still. All their songs sound the same to me. Of course, Jordis could make me like elevator music, so maybe she'll turn the tide for me.

So there. I offer up my humble recap of tonight's show. Thoughts?