Friday, April 18, 2008

It's so hard to say goodbye

So one of the disadvantages of blogging is that I can't talk about certain things, given that this is ON THE INTERNET. You all know about people being "dooced", ie fired for things they wrote on their blog. Of course, now Dooce is probably one of the most popular blogs on the Internet, so it's probably just as well that she was fired because now she actually supports her family with her blog. It's a crazy world out there, kids.

Anyway, one of the things I couldn't write about because it wasn't public knowledge at work yet, is that in a few weeks I'm leaving my tiny downtown startup company to go back to Microsoft.

I gave notice earlier this week, and oh my gosh, it was like that horrible bad breakup conversation you have when you're just not that into the relationship. It was a complete surprise to my manager, who by the way is FREAKIN' AWESOME, and that made it so much worse. I've had horrible, awful managers, and ok managers, and a handful of really really good ones, and Alan is one of the best. Which made this whole process even more gut-wrenching.

So what's the deal? It's not my boss, or the company itself. It's the damn commute. I should have listened to EVERYONE (including my always-right husband) when they told me I'd hate it after a while. But no, I'm one of those people who has to make and experience her own mistakes. I guess you could say I'm an experimentalist rather than a theoretician :)

Besides the stupid commute, I'm kind of having one of those internal arguments about ambition, wanting it all, etc. I am one of those Type A people. I'm not competitive, but I expect to do my best, and to put my all into whatever I do. So as much as I should just focus on OTHER THINGS now and keep the job on the back burner, I just can't do it. Apparently that's the mark of a nerd, to get all obsessive about whatever project is in front of your nose at any given time. Grrr.

So the opportunity at Microsoft is going to be pretty challenging, and probably somewhat stressful, but as far as my career goes, it's a really good move for me. I'll be working on a team with folks I used to work with back in 2003-4 so it's a known quantity, but the work itself is cross-company, which has all that "visibility" and other stuff.

Oh, and I get my Pro Club membership back. For that I CANNOT wait.


  1. I bet it was tough, especially with a good boss. Don't worry about having to see for yourself about the commute :) I did the N. Kirkland - downtown Seattle thing for over a year -- remember? -- before we moved into the N. Seattle house? It's doable, but not pleasant and I find tolerance for things like that greatly diminishes with age. Anyway, glad you've found your groove again with your old company!

  2. @ll - thanks! Yep, I think the hardest part was having to tell my boss. I actually had nightmares about it.

  3. OMG ... that means our wine tasting days are over. WAHHHH!

    But we can now do sushi again. YAY!!!


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