|i made this. and liked doing it.|
There's a common thread here - one that we don't often talk about when dreaming big dreams, making life lists or thinking about our yearly goals. We often couch it in terms of "I didn't make any progress on that" or "I dropped the ball" when the real reason is that we re-evaluated our goals and decided that one was no longer a top priority, or our current state is better than making a change.
While writing and posting these dreams and goals publicly makes me more accountable, it often feels like I'm "locked in", that I have to do it now that I've said I was going to. And if I don't, it's because I failed.
What I love about Laura's post is that she articulates her decision-making process. She put her business on hold for a bit to think. She talked it over with her husband. She clarified her personal priorities, and figured out that this big dream of hers didn't mesh with those.
At my job, we do this formally as part of our performance reviews and mid-year check ins. We set "commitments" at the beginning of the year, which are our goals and how we plan to achieve them. We're encouraged to keep this list as a living document, revisiting them and updating as priorities change. We formally make the changes at a mid-year review, but can update them any time.
At work, it's not a failure for me to drop a project if the business needs change. In fact, clinging to that project would be a sure path to a bad performance review and get me pegged as that inflexible person who can't deal with change. (Like the guy with the stapler in Office Space.)
So why is it so hard to accept change in our personal goals?
A few things on my original Mondo Beyondo list are things I no longer want to do (or have): a second home, living in Ireland, writing a successful book. I wrote that list in 2011. A lot of things have happened since then - our "business needs" have changed, so to speak.
Yet that little voice in my head is telling me I'm taking the easy way out. That I should be working hard on all of those things on that list. That other people do harder stuff, with larger families, so why am I bellyaching about priorities and time. Sigh.
When I read over that list, the things I really want still jump out at me: taking some responsibility for the girls' schooling, doing something creative daily, figuring out meal planning and healthier eating.
What about you? Do you have goals you have shelved due to changing life priorities? Do you feel bad about it?