My daily life has been turned upside down by TJ's return to work. Not in a bad way, but just in an "I need to get used to the new normal" way. Before he started work, I literally had not spent more than 4 hours alone with the girls - just the time it took for TJ to get a good motorcycle ride in over the weekend, or have dinner with a friend.
Four hours is very different from an entire week, which is what I had when he had to go to the East Coast for his new job's orientation. It was a trial by fire, serendipitously aided by the arrival of my friend Di who just happened to be visiting that first weekend. She helped us get in the groove by chatting with T while I was nursing M, or hanging out with M while I helped T get dressed.
Sadly, she had to leave on Sunday night, but we made it through the week. By the end, I even felt like we had our routine DOWN. I got T to preschool on time every day that week with her lunch, everyone got a couple of baths and we slept ok. We were in "survival mode", doing only what we needed to get through the day. Sometimes we all went to bed at 7:30pm.
When TJ returned from his trip, we had to figure out our routines again, this time with him. It was great having him around to handle bedtime and tag-team again when he was home, but there were new wrinkles, like the fact that he gets ready for work around 5:30 or 6am, and BabyM is a ridiculously light sleeper, so suddenly my day was starting then too.
But now we're 3 weeks into this new life and finding our way through it. Once a week or so, I get to that magical state where I got everything done during the day that I was planning to do: basic chores, something fun outside the house with the girls, some exercise, an actual home cooked dinner, and maybe even a blog post or some crafty time.
The rest of the time, I'm still muddling through trying to figure out how to get the girls to nap in parallel rather than in series, how to keep the baby entertained for a few minutes while I shower, and how to convince the 3yo that her mere presence while I'm nursing the baby causes the baby to completely ignore me.
So by the end of the day, I'm worn out and way too tired to use that time to craft or blog. On the bright side I've been getting a reasonable amount of (crappy, baby-bedsharing) sleep, which makes me a better mama overall.
I think I'm going to have to switch my "me-time" activities to the early morning, which is painful for this night owl. We'll see. Every day is like a new (tiring) adventure.
Welcome to my side of the world :)
ReplyDeleteOmg! Early morning? Say it ain't so! That being said when I do tackle a project in the AM it does feel good. I also may up my crafting budget in my head when I make real dinner. Just in case you need extra motivation ;)
ReplyDeleteI have so much trouble planning meals - it's ridiculous. Once I get good at it, maybe I'll have mental space for other things :)
DeleteIt certainly is a transition but you will find your groove. :) Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI don't think this phase of life will pass until the kids are 18 and moving out :-) I'm in the same phase as you, though mine are a little older, and I feel like I just muddle through day-by-day. But it's worth it! x
ReplyDeleteoh man, that sounds rough to me too - a certifiable night owl!!!!
ReplyDeleteAt least you're getting some sleep??? :)
Oh man, those are some cute cute gals. Sounds like things are starting to fall into place - you're doing awesome!
ReplyDeleteAny transition is rough! I know how it is when your husband is away too...mine is in the National Guard. It is quite an adjustment. We have two "normals" or routines: One when he is home and one when he is gone:)
ReplyDeleteOh wow, that is much harder when it's a long time like that. Go you, mama!
DeleteDon't beat yourself up over it. I'm sure you've heard it a million times, but it really does go by quickly. I know it doesn't feel that way when you're in it. Savor the moments when you're by yourself. Try not to clean during your "alone" time. Just some tips from a mom of 5. :) I, too, was once a night owl...lol. Happy Wednesday!
ReplyDeleteOoh, 5 kids and you still have alone time. Awesome.
DeleteI feel you, girl! Well, not the "night owl" part. Personally, I like to (or in a previous life I liked to) wake up late and go to bed early. Oh, oh! And take a nap!! So, that makes me...hmmm..."lazy" is probably the best way to put it.
ReplyDeleteANYWAY, I'm glad to see that you managed to work us back in to your schedule. :)
Oh, I was just like that pre-kids - bed after midnight, sleep till 10 or later, and still take a nap. I love me some sleep. When T was a baby I had graphic fantasies about hotel beds where I could sleep ALL DAY LONG. ;)
DeleteAll that and the fact you STILL manage some "me" time amazes me.
ReplyDeleteAnd I meant that in the "I bow to you" sort of way. = )
ReplyDelete;) If I didn't find a way to make that time, my head would explode.
DeleteGood luck working out your routines. I can't imagine how difficult it is. Your children are beautiful!!
ReplyDeleteJust remember--transitions take time and you WILL figure it out. Do whatever you can to get that me time, so morning it is! For me, I love having down time AT HOME so it's been hard to adjust to the fact that I really need to be out of the house to get that time. But I'm taking the time and so glad for it:)
ReplyDeleteOh Keshet, I hear you about leaving the house. What I love is being alone in my craft space, but I can't really escape because I can hear the baby, or my preschooler wants to come and "craft with mama", etc. So sometimes it is good to get out of the house, but everything I want to DO is at home ;)
DeleteWhen Jon travels... I am exhausted by 9PM. Done, finito. Almost 7 years of practice and I have found nothing to beat that exhaustion.
ReplyDeleteyou wake up super early, too, right? thankfully TJ doesn't have to travel much.
DeleteI've experienced single parenthood when my husband travels and I also tend to take over more on weekends, which is tiring. I learned that some days are quite smooth and some days all hell breaks loose and routines go out the window.
ReplyDeleteit would be cool if we got a sign in the morning that told us what kind of day it was going to be :)
DeleteAww I hope you are able to set a good routing for yourself which works and you get more me time everyday. Yours kids are so cute!
ReplyDeleteHopefully the nap thing will get settled down and they'll both nap at the same time in the afternoon. Then you'll have that time. When T stops napping, she can do quiet stuff then (my older boys can watch TV during baby nap time on weekends). And when the baby gets a little older, you won't be quite so tired at 7:30, so when they go down, you can have that time. And then soon they'll be 6 and 3 and you'll start having quite a bit more independence! I've been amazed to see that happen -- my older two can hang out in the basement for an hour without me.
ReplyDeleteYeah, for a brief couple of months T stopped napping but had quiet time in her room and was fine with that. She also has to amuse herself a bit while I feed the baby, and when she wants to, is very efficient at getting dressed, etc. So I do see some glimpses of our future :)
DeleteHopefully you can find a routine that works for everyone, those early years are always tough :)
ReplyDelete