On the road to madness

A few weeks ago, BabyT and I were looking for something to do on a Saturday while TJ was working.  We decided to attend the Urban Craft Uprising show - a few of the people I've met through Etsy were selling there, and I'd never been to it before. 

It was by far, the hippest craft show I've ever been to - lots of eco/recycled items, edgy themes, and nearly every booth had something I wanted to buy.  No crocheted doilies or country-style dish towels here! 

I spent a lot more money than I intended on a bright purple recycled T-shirt summer hat for babyT at moth and squirrel, gorgeous glittery hairpins and a big shiny cocktail ring for me from glamscience, Matthew Porter's ABC book for BabyT (should have asked him to sign it!), a screenprinted paramecium T-shirt from Katy and Zucchini, and this awesome handmade bear (for both of us!) from Maluhia Designs:

The bear was nearly as big as Trillian and they both rode in the stroller through the show.  She loves it.  I like it because it's got really cute Japanese animated characters all over it, though TJ pointed out most of them are frowny or angry (in a really cute way). 

I came away from this craft show totally amazed and excited to make stuff, lack of sleep be damned.  (woo hoo!)  And I got a tiny thought in my head.  What if I applied to sell there?  I know I swore off craft shows in the past, but this one seems different. 

And, it turns out the application process for the Winter 2010 show starts next week.  The fee to apply is minimal, and there's a huge chance I won't get in - from the numbers I've seen posted on their site, it looks like they accept less than 30% of their applicants.  So I've been waffling about it all weekend, and I even got 5 product photos together for the application.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

So in order to make this work, I need to start making things now.  On the bright side, even if I don't get in, I'll have enough product listed online for the holiday season, which is always busy.  I'm going to focus on ready-made stuff online this year, rather than custom items. 

So yeah, that's the plan.  We'll see where this path takes me...

It'll chew you up

 No one ever told me how much fun it is to introduce food to a baby. Except for the milk and soy intolerance, we give T a lot of different things to try. Sometimes it takes 2 or 3 offerings before she'll actually try something or decide she likes it.


Meals are fun and relaxed (I love Baby-Led Weaning! no stress!) - I plop bits of things down on her high chair tray and she eats them, or not. What she doesn't eat, the dogs eat. Lately she's been eating like a CHAMP - Miss Baby finished a pint of blueberries in about 4 days. Which is no small feat since we cut them in half, and she picks them up one by one. It's like watching a mini zen master doing active meditation.

Breakfast takes a long time - BabyT signals the end by picking up the things on her tray and deliberately dropping them over the edge, or sweeping everything off her tray with her arm, which I think is pretty funny. (Ask me again later.) Sometimes we spend 45 min to an hour eating so it's also a nice time for me to catch up on email while I sit and make sure she doesn't choke. (I have some paranoia about choking.)

Before we started T on solid foods I read most of Ellyn Satter's book "Child of Mine" and really liked her philosophy around the "division of labor" regarding meals. It's my job as parent to provide a range of healthy options, and BabyT's job to decide whether and how much to eat it.

No power struggles about how much she's eating. No "airplane" games or coaxing her to take "just one more bite". Babies and toddlers have great inborn sense of how much they need to eat, and over time will consume all the different things they need (as long as you offer a variety of food groups, etc).

The few times we tried to spoonfeed her in order to get her to take her iron supplement (massive FAIL), it was stressful, and I felt like this horrible, food-pushing mother. So I quit. It's easier to just shoot the supplement into her cheek during changing time - she hates it but at least I'm not also making her eating experience miserable. We usually follow it up with some milk and lots of snuggles and cheers so she gets over it pretty quickly.

Current favorites are ham and sausage, and of course, blueberries. Our girl likes her meat. Which I'm sure she inherited from her daddy. Oddly, she also likes really garlicky hummus, and the spicy black bean soup I made. I guess all those salt 'n' vinegar chips I ate when I was pregnant made a difference :)

I'd love to hear your suggestions on what to feed a baby who's gotten good at feeding herself.  We can't quite just give her what we eat yet, due to the milk/soy issue, but we're getting close.  I'll just need to modify what I cook sometimes.

Fifteen there's still time for you

I had a crazy thought last night when I lay in bed trying to fall asleep.  I'm closer to BabyT's 15th birthday than my own.  (14 years vs. 20!)  How the heck did that happen?  When did I get old?  It was long before my conversation with TJ last week that began with "I was listening to NPR, and ...".  Because dude, only old people listen to NPR.  Arghhh.

Anyway, I must have been a resilient 15, because that was a tough year for me.  The kind of stress I was under then would send me to bed for weeks if it happened now. 

Let's see, there was senior year in a high school I was *SO* done with, the stress of applying to (and getting into!) a decent engineering college, extracurriculars after school and every freakin' night of the week, dealing with the obligatory horrible high school breakup and resulting drama, a weekend job at Arby's, and the usual teenage angst with my parents and life in general. 

It would have made a world of difference to know with certainty that all that stuff would come together and I'd have the life that I wanted.   I often marvel at how lucky and blessed I am, and how much easier life seems to be now, even with the current not-sleeping, baby-hubby-work-house-dogs-craft craziness.  I feel like I have choices and leisure time, rather than everything barrelling down the train tracks at 150mph with every decision and activity needing to lead to the Right Choices to set me up for future success.

Wow, do I not want to relive my teenage years.  And hopefully I'll have the grace, strength and understanding to guide T through hers.  And I'll be even more OLD then.  Sigh.

When did you realize you got old?

Saturday, wait

TJ is on his parental leave right now so my life just got a LOT easier.  Now I don't have 100% baby duty from 7am-7pm on the four days he usually works. 

We can go out and do random things during the week, like meet up with our friends Dave and Baby Max and Adrianne and Baby Rae for cupcakes in the middle of the day.  After the cupcake adventure, we got some Thai food and walked over to the Olympic Sculpture Park on a bright sunny Friday afternoon.  A good time was had by mamas, daddies and babies alike.

Babies chillin at da Sculpture Park

But TJ has this crazy idea that he wants to spend part of his 8 week leave doing things he likes to do, which are usually things he does by himself.  (What a novel idea.)  So today he's off on his motorcycle to ride around Mt. Rainier for most of the day.  Which makes this a sort of usual Saturday for me and BabyT. 

I go a little crazy just staying in the house all day with her - I love playing silly games and singing those dumb songs I make up on the fly, but I can't do that all day or both of our heads would explode.  So we try to find Baby-Mama Outings.

Today after a short morning nap, we went to the Redmond Saturday Market.  It's the closest farmer's market, and is only on Saturdays (duh) from 9-3, May-October.  I always forget about it, and realize on Sunday that I meant to go.  Or in November. 

But this year we've been three times already, or two and a half, since the first time we brought the stroller, which doesn't navigate the bumpy gravel or the crowd very well.  So BabyT rides close to me in the Ergo.  My girl is getting way too heavy for the front carry, sadly, though she still likes it, and so do I because it allows me to talk to her about what we see, and allows her to snuggle close when she gets a temporary bout of stranger anxiety. 

The last two times we've shared a crepe.  More accurately, I snork down a crepe and T gets 2-3 tiny little pieces.  Is it bad that a hot crepe is the highlight of my farmer's market experience?  Sigh. 

But we also buy blueberries, because that seems to be T's favorite fruit yet.  She eats most fruits I've put in front of her, though after the very first Avocado Day, she's pretty much rejected them every other time.  Blueberries are a special favorite, though.  Miss Baby went through 2 pints of blueberries in about 4 days.  Which, considering most of her calories still come from breastmilk, is no small feat.

Today there were also hip-hop dancers and live music at the market, not to mention LOTS of dogs, kids and other babies.  We saw several babies in Ergo carriers and it emboldened us to learn how to do the back carry, which is going to be much easier on my back now that BabyT is > 25 lbs.

I also realized that it's now difficult for me to drink something through a straw with T in the carrier, because she wants some, too.  And unfortunately she can't have any of my iced chai, so I had to distract her with the aforementioned blueberries while I enjoyed my frosty beverage.

After such a busy morning, Miss Baby slept for over 2 hours, the longest nap she's had in a few days.  So hooray for the Saturday Market!

Cuts you like a knife

I was chatting with a pregnant coworker a few days ago and she mentioned that she might have to schedule a C-section due to her baby's position. She wanted to know how the recovery went for me, and of course I was enthusiastic as ever about my experience with BabyT's birth, which was perfect for us.

In the ultra-granola, hippie Northwest, it seems like most pregnant women are really terrified and/or dismissive of the C, especially those with the perfectly-detailed natural unmedicated "birth plans".

From the parent-baby group we briefly attended, it seemed like the women who *really* didn't want to even think about the C-section as a possibility were really traumatized/disappointed in their birth experiences when it had to be a C for various medical reasons. It was pretty sad to hear that their baby's birthday included stress and regret, even 6 months later.

And on a side note, I feel like I should get a medal for staying through the whole meeting where people discussed their birth experiences, because I am super-squeamish.  But I sort of felt a responsibility to tell our positive C-story after hearing so many negative ones, if only to show that it doesn't have to be a horrible experience and one to avoid at all costs.

I wrote a sort of "Lessons Learned" a few months after T was born for a friend of mine.  Yes, it's the Project Manager in me, and I can't help myself. 

Many of the tips apply for any sort of giving-birth experience.  Hopefully this helps out some apprehensive first-time pregnant mamas out there. 

22 Tips to Prepare for a C-Section and the Resulting New Baby

When you're hugely pregnant

• PRIMP: Schedule a haircut/waxing/pedicure/massage as close to your due date as possible but far enough in advance that you won't miss it. It was nearly a month or more before I had time for even a quick eyebrow wax and I didn't get out for a haircut until 8 weeks post-baby.

• PHOTOS: If you want professional pictures of your cute pregnant self and pre-baby family, set that up for your 33-36th week.  You don't want it to be so late you'll miss it but you want to be nice and round for the pictures.  If you want brand-new-baby pictures, find a photographer and book a tentative appointment before you give birth as the first several weeks are usually a blur of sleeplessness and adjusting to your new reality.

• SHOWER: The night before, or the morning of, your surgery - take a very long shower. It will probably be a few days before you can shower again, and for sure, weeks, before you have the time to take a nice leisurely shower. I swear BabyT knew when I was going to get in the shower, and exactly 5 minutes in, would decide she was hungry.

• TRACK: The TotalBaby app for the iPhone ROCKS for tracking baby stuff like diapers, sleep, feeding etc. which you need to do for the first several weeks - doctors always ask about those details at early appointments.

• COMFY: Set up the spot where you're going to feed the baby at home to be super-comfy. Chair, cushions, music, a table for your snacks, laptop, whatever. You will spend a LOT of time there.

• CARSEAT: Practice getting the infant seat into/out of the car and clipped to the stroller before the baby comes. Some babies HATE the carseat so it's a lot easier to practice without a screaming baby first :)

• PUMP: Figure out your breastpump. You might need to use it right from the beginning while your body adjusts its supply, and those first weeks are not the time to struggle with putting the little pieces together or realizing you're missing something.

• VISITORS: Discuss your plan for early visitors with your husband/partner and make sure you're on the same page.  Do you want family to come and stay with you to help out from the beginning, or do you want time for yourselves first?  Visitors at the hospital or not?  The first few days and weeks are blurry and chaotic so plan for this up front and communicate it to all parties involved.  You don't want to be surprised by too little help or unexpected guests.

• ANNOUNCE: In the same vein, discuss how you want to announce your baby's birth to the world.  Facebook, Twitter, and blogs enable you to share all the gory details as they unfold, but make sure that's what both partners want.  Also discuss what (if any) hospital photos to post/email.  It can be a little weird to send those disheveled "just-born" mama/baby shots to coworkers so make sure your partner knows your wishes.  

• FOOD: Before the baby comes, stock up your house with things that are easy to eat with one hand, and little to no prep. You will be spending *so* much time feeding your baby, and napping, that you need to eat quickly. I ate pop-tarts, bananas or sandwiches while feeding her. Literally in the beginning, a nursing session can take a whole *hour*.

Bring to the hospital

• PILLOWS: theirs suck. 

• NURSING PILLOW: much easier to learn how to feed your baby using the same pillow you'll have at home. I wish I had done that. BTW, the "My Brest Friend" is way better than the Boppy, more supportive, less back pain. Horrible name, but awesome product.

• LIP BALM: They have nearly everything else, but I needed lip balm a lot.

• SUPPLIES: Change of clothes/pajamas/snacks for your husband/partner. We forgot to bring something for TJ to sleep in, so he had to leave to get a pair of shorts at home, and I was so sad (hormonal) to be left "alone" with the baby. Also bring toiletries for him since you'll be there for a couple of days.

At the hospital

• H20: Drink water like crazy before/after your surgery. It helps with everything.

• ADVOCATE: A friend had a not-great experience with the postpartum nurses. Enlist your husband/partner to be your advocate, and ask all the questions you need re: breastfeeding, etc. Also, if they have you supplement with formula at the beginning, instead of going straight to the bottle, they have these little syringe/tube thingies that you can use so that you don't risk the chance of messing up breastfeeding later. But you'll need to ask for this - they might not even tell you this is available.

• MOVE: In the hospital, the nurses had me cough, sleep on both sides, and eventually get up and walk, to help me heal faster. I swear it worked because after about a week I only needed Advil every 6 hours for the pain/soreness. And within 4 weeks I didn't feel *anything*.

• HELP: Even if you think you're getting the hang of breastfeeding, ask different nurses for help at each session. Different ones had different tips and tricks, and we learned something from each of them. (Well, except the one who came in and told me I was doing it all wrong.)

• PAIN MEDS: Don't be a martyr about the pain meds, esp after a C-section. Confirm that what they're offering you is safe for breastfeeding and then take what you need. A side benefit is that they help with the pain of learning to breastfeed. 

After you're home

• DIVIDE/CONQUER: Feeding a baby is HARD work, and takes a LONG time in the beginning so make a deal with your husband/partner/family members for them to do diaper duty and keep the house running so you can focus on feeding and getting lots of naps.  Even at 10 months, I'm pretty sure my lovely hubby has changed more diapers than I have.

• CAPTURE: Take quick pictures daily or at least a few times a week, even if it's only with your crappy cell phone camera.  Babies change SO MUCH in those first few weeks.  It's fascinating to look back at those early pictures.  Don't worry about processing/uploading them, just take them and deal with them when you're ready.

• NO GUILT: It's ok not to love every minute of it (or even most of the beginning) even if your baby was long-awaited. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about that.

Other mamas out there in Internet-land, what would you add to the list?