Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Finding my tribe and writing for me
I've been posting less frequently lately, partly because the third trimester has finally caught up with me (hello 7:30pm bedtime!), but also because I'm still annoyed by what went down in these posts, plus the subsequent huffy anonymous email and snarky call outs on other blogs I (used to) read.
Many of the blogs I read are very similar in outlook. I thought I had found "my people", so to speak, and added a bunch of blogs to my reader. I'm not religious, lean towards attachment parenting but am not dogmatic about it, work outside the home in the tech industry and am firmly upper middle class. It's nice to reach out to people "just like me" via the Internet, and read others' interesting and usually relevant thoughts without getting all agitated about it like I would if I frequented blogs written by people who strongly advocate against vaccination (to choose just one irksome issue).
But, as it turns out, I don't think I chose the right tribe. I've been reading things with a more critical eye lately, and find that on AskMoxie, my usual go-to parenting resource, some of the comments that espouse views that I agree with are the ones getting vehemently shot down as being "judgmental" which is apparently Really Bad if you choose the specific hot button things to be judgmental about (and are on the "wrong" side).
When I look at my closest friends in real life, the parameters are a little different from those of the bloggers. Most of them have taken time off from work or rearranged schedules to stay home with their kids, several homeschool and with the exception of a lone few, none are laser-focused on their career growth. The ones who work seem to have the same attitude as I do - it's mentally interesting and financially good for the family, but not something that competes as a Top Priority.
My two "Mama Role Models" to whom I reach out for advice are moms who stay home and homeschool (and incidentally, went to college with me too, which likely says something about why we get along so well. Geeks unite and all that.) One of them told me that finding a group of like-minded parents was more important than finding parents with kids the exact same age or living in the same place. I totally get it now.
The Internet is a leisure activity for me, so it makes no sense for me to read things that aggravate me. I blog for leisure too, so I don't want to stress out about writing something someone else considers "not nice". I'm opinionated and I'm going to write what's on my mind. If that causes people to unsubscribe, so be it. I'm not blogging for social change, peace and understanding, or cold hard cash (hah!) so there's no need for me to stifle what I really think for a higher purpose.
I guess that's as close to my blogging manifesto as I'll ever get. Now I'm off to find my people in that great big world out there. Feel free to direct them my way.